Time to Decompress

This weekend was a very long weekend and I have NEVER been so thankful for Monday to come in my entire life! My dad was here all last week and lil sis was here over the weekend. Obviously I love my family dearly, but when she brings her boyfriend and her two kids, it gets to be a bit TOO much. She parents VERY differently than Dirty and I do, therefore her children are disrespectful little shits. We are more on the strict side and do not allow our children to talk to us the way she allows her children talk to her. We have had to tell the children that the rules at our house are different than the rules are their house and they must follow the rules when they are here. It seems to work, but it's still very stressful. And of course there's the aftermath of Zilla thinking it's cool to act like his cousin and turns into a heathen! Last night was a rough night for me. I had to be "mean" and tell him "if you can't talk to me nicely, I don't want to talk to you. I love you, but right now, your attitude is making me mad and hurting my feelings." I kind of felt like an asshole for saying that to him, even though it seemed to have no effect on him, but I needed to put his little attitude in check! I'm sure part of it was that I was SO drained from the funeral and all the emotions bubbling to the surface after everything had calmed down a bit, but it was still a rough evening.


Friday night we went to the rosary mass, that was interesting. We aren't affiliated with this church at all, and the whole thing felt cold. The gentlemen reading the rosary were very automatic in their readings and nobody really said my Omi's name. It was not intimate at all, like my mom's was. After the mass, my cousin and my uncle were taking pictures of the flower arrangements and the urn. I kind of felt like this was odd, but went with it because everyone wanted a picture with Oma. My uncle wanted a picture of my cousin and myself standing on either side of the urn, which I did, but had NO idea how to pose. A smile didn't feel right and where was I suppose to look or put my hand. I get why my uncle wanted a picture and I appreciate that, I was just a bit uncomfortable with it. Plus I was doing my best not to remember the last funeral we all attended and break down. We ended up at my aunt's house, ate some home cooked Indonesian food, chatted a bit, drank a class of wine and that seemed to make me feel a bit better.


The funeral was not a good closing to my Omi's life at all. Not only did the priest get her death date wrong, he seemed to get a kick out of the fact that she chose to go home during the "holiest week of the year". I'm not even kidding when I say he was trembling with excitement over this. His voice was loud and I swear if it wasn't for the family members bawling our eyes out, he would have danced a jig. After that mistake, he called the wrong aunt's name for a reading. A reading she didn't even know she was SUPPOSE to read! Thankfully the mass was ended with beautiful words and memories from my aunts, my dad, a cousin, and some friends. Those words being said made the rest of the mass better.
After mass we went to the church hall and had some food and watched a video one of the cousins had made. He did such a beautiful job getting pictures and putting the whole thing together.


I did have a minor freak out when I found out we were going over to another cousin's house for a family dinner because uncle douche bag was going to be there and I had Nae with me. I talked to lil sis and my dad about it and they did little to appease my fears. What ended up calming me down was Nae. I told her we were going to cousin's house and if she didn't feel comfortable going, we would go home. She told me she was having a good time talking to the cousins she never gets to see and didn't need to go home. The kid looked me in the eyes and said "mom, I'm good, I promise! I'll let you know if I want to go home." After that conversation, I stepped out of my perceptive of things and looked at it from her point of view. She's right, she was having a good time and even though the fears I have are real, it doesn't mean I need to freak out and run away. The need to protect her was just so overwhelming, I wanted to run. I'm glad I made the choice to stay because she'll remember that day as being able to spend time with the family she never gets to spend time with. That's not to say uncle douche bag was EVER out of my sight because he wasn't. Plus he KNOWS better than to talk to me or my children. He's disgusting but at least he knows how I feel about him. I know I made the right decision and I'm so glad I allowed Nae to be involved in it.


Before we went to my cousin's for dinner, we stopped at my aunt's house and she gave us pictures of my mom and us that we had given to Oma. My dad has most of them because he's going to scan them in the computer, but I did snag a few that I didn't want to let go. There's one of my mom nursing me days after I was born and my older sister is sitting next to her. It is the most beautiful picture of my mom I've ever seen! I am so grateful to have that picture here. I put it in a frame and have looked at it so many times. It's just so precious.
It's a picture of the picture, but it's still such a lovely picture.

So all in all it was a draining weekend, but it was nice to be able to spend time with my family.

Advice Please!

I need a little help, advice, or anything ANYONE has to offer. I'm at my wits end here!

Does anyone know anything about anxiety? Dirty has it and it seems to be getting worse. When he went to our local psychiatrist here in town for his evaluation from his dumbass move, the doctor said he doesn't have an anger problem. Which, we kind of figured, but it was good to get documentation of it. The doc did say that he has anxiety and therapy would be beneficial to him. Which is great, but not great because he put that in his paperwork for the courts and now Dirty HAS to go to therapy. Of course since it's court ordered, insurance won't cover it, which is a moot point, because we don't have insurance anyway. The problem is that Dirty's anxiety has gotten SO much worse as of late and I'm at a loss as to handle it. So therapy will help, but in the mean time, what do I do?

Here's what happened today and how he and I handled it. We went to the phone store to pay the bill and get my line transferred over, as I'm on a different plan than him and Nae. I see a phone I like and so does Dirty, we check around at a few other stores to see if we can find them cheaper and because there were a SHIT TON of people in there. We didn't find any other phone cheaper and went back to the store to buy those phones and get them switched over. So far, so good. It was a bit annoying to run to one end of town and back but not TOO much of a big deal. The guy starts on my phone and apparently isn't aware that we want both phones and starts on Dirty's as he's finishing up on mine, this is where the issues arise. It takes the phone guy FOREVER to get Dirty's phone to do whatever the hell it needs to do to work properly. I tell him I have class at 1:00 and need to leave the store by 12:45. Phone guy suggests I leave Dirty's old cell phone with him so we can work on transferring everything and we'll come back when I get out of class. I think this is a wonderful idea, Dirty on the other hand, not so much *sigh* He does not want phone guy to keep his phone and does not want to take my phone while I'm in class. At this point, Dirty is SUPER pissed off and frustrated and I'm at a loss as to what the hell to do. I go back into the store, get Dirty's phone and tell phone guy, we'll be back around 4 when I get out of class. We go back to the store, wait for an hour and STILL no luck with the phone.

By this time, my dad is bored, Zilla is antsy and Dirty's anxiety is through the roof! Dirty freaks fuck and wants to leave. Just leave! In order to not have a fight in the middle of the parking lot, in front of my dad and Zilla, I just do whatever he wants. I tell the guy we'll be back tomorrow or something and leave. Dirty drops all of us off at Nae's track meet, which we were late for, and goes home. I'm pissed, Dirty is pissed, my dad is confused, and Zilla is oblivious (thank God). We missed all of Nae's events because of this whole phone fiasco and because Dirty wouldn't just listen to me or any type of reason. He was beyond reasoning with at this point, anyway.

After the track meet, we all come home and Dirty is still reeling from everything that went on and I'm pissed off and hurt. I pretty much ignore him and go along with cooking dinner and such, while Dirty takes a nap. He ends up apologizing for his actions and says I did the right thing by just letting him be and cool down. The problem with this solution is that I hate doing it. I hate "pleasing" him until he's done with his freak out. It makes me feel like I'm being submissive to him, which I am SO not. I do, do certain things that would lead others to think the opposite, but I assure you that is not the case.

I was taught to stand up for myself and my rights and appeasing Dirty in this manner makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself. On the other hand if I tell him EXACTLY how I feel at that moment, I'll either say something I don't mean or we'll end up in a huge argument. I need to find some sort of middle ground, not sure if I found it or not; because Dirty just thanked me for letting him be so he can cool off. I guess I did the right thing and I feel fine about it now, but in the moment, I don't feel that way at all.

My questions or plea for advice is; there anything I can do when Dirty has these anxiety attacks or issues? Not sure if it's considered an "attack" per se, but it IS an issue. I think his anxiety being so high this week is the fact that his appointment is Thursday. He might be feeling anxiety BECAUSE of the appointment, but frankly, I have no idea. I know NOTHING about anxiety and have no idea what the hell to do or not to do. Does anyone have anxiety issues as well, or know anyone that does? What is the best course of action for me to take? I want to be supportive and not frustrated, but right now all I'm feeling is frustration and a little resentment. It's not right, I know, but it's how I'm feeling right now.

Any advice is MORE than welcome! Even if you don't know anyone who has anxiety or has dealt with this before, I'll take any thoughts you have. Please! Thank you so much!

She Helped Heal My Heart

And she has NO idea.

Saturday when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sulk but was unable to do because I had A LOT of stuff to do, my heart was healed a little bit. Zilla had a birthday party to go to and because I'm over protective, I went with him. The party was for a little girl in his class and I may have gone overboard buying her princess(!) toys, but we had a great time. We went to the park, hunted for eggs, hit a pinata, got muddy, and had a great time. We ended up at the Birthday Girl's house for cake and ice cream. The kids all ran off and I was left in the front room with about 5 adults I had never met in my life. We made small talk and eventually I got a little bit more comfortable with them.

There was a 2 year old little girl there who stole my heart and healed it at the same time. She has Downs Syndrome and took a liking to me! I was so excited, it took everything I had not to scoop her up and smother her with kisses. We played with the remotes, play dough and she kept signing "more play" to me when I wasn't playing with what she wanted me to play with.

I asked her mom how she felt about strangers before I made my move because she looked a bit overwhelmed when they walked in the door. Although, I can't blame her, I was overwhelmed watching all those 6 and 7 year olds running around the house, too! Her mom said it takes time for her to warm up to strangers but assured me, I wouldn't freak her out if I said hello or played with her. That was all I needed and I sat on the floor across from the coffee table from her and showed her a toy. Eventually she made her way into my lap and I was so honored, I wanted to cry. Her mom said she never does that and both she and her husband were very surprised. I was just so happy to have this beautiful child sitting in my lap, that I didn't care that she never does this.

Addison let me play with her for about 2 hours. It was such an amazing 2 hours, I don't think I'll forget them for the rest of my life. She even let me give her a high five! For those 2 hours, I didn't think about my Omi passing away, I didn't think that my dad has to go through this another time, all I did was immerse myself in this beautiful soul.

I came home so happy and told Dirty and Roomie about it. Dirty said I was explaining it all wrong, apparently I was making it sound like someone who just got to play with a puppy. Which wasn't my intention at all, obviously, I was just filled with such peace and happiness, I had to tell them. It's taken me a few days to process these feelings, but I think I've got it.

Addison healed my heart. She might have sensed that I needed some sweet baby time or she just wanted to play, either way, I owe Addison so much. What she did for me on Saturday is exactly what I needed.

Family Reunions?

This picture was taken a few years ago. We have a cousins that is a professional clown and she dressed Omi up...SO cute!

Wednesday morning around 11:30, my Omi my (grandma) passed away. She was my dad's mother and had been through SO much, it seems a shame that she's just GONE. I had heard that our family from California were in town over the weekend and they were able to spend time with her and she was having a GREAT day! They got to talk to her, got to hear her laugh, see her smile, wheel her around in her wheelchair, and spend some quality time with her. That makes me happy, VERY happy. I'm so happy that my cousins and my aunt were able to spend that time with her. I am very happy that my dad was in time and was able to spend some quality time with her, as well. It is a gift for all of them.
This was taken the Saturday before she passed away, she was having a good day.

This is a big blow to my family, obviously, but mostly because this is the
first experience my cousins and aunts have with death. When my mom died, it was my dad and lil sis that were hit the hardest. Everyone was sad because they loved my mom too, but it wasn't the same for them that it was for us. Now it's all turned around and I feel horrible for them.

We had the viewing yesterday and I'm still processing how all of my emotions and feelings about it. I was there when my mom died and when my friend in high school who killed himself, I didn't really comprehend the gravity of it. This time, it was..odd, I think. Everyone said she looked peaceful and while I agree she did, because she wasn't in pain, but also she didn't. Nor did she look like she was sleeping. Her face was really relaxed and when I touched her arm she was SO cold. A cold, I wasn't prepared for. I don't regret going to see her, I feel like it was good to say my goodbyes and tell her how much I love her. I just didn't expect her to look so...not there. I am aware I'm not making sense here because I can't find the right words, I just need to get all these words out that are swirling around in my head.

When we were going to the viewing, we were OK. There was an air of sadness in the car, but also a few laughs and jokes thrown into the mix. We didn't rehash our feelings about Omi, nor did we talk about the big elephant in the car that was her death. When we got to the funeral home, all of that changed. We met a cousin there and we all cried and didn't really know what to say. We touched her hair and they all gave her a kiss. After touching her arm, I couldn't give her a kiss. Not because I was freaked out about the coldness of her skin, but because to me it wasn't MY Omi laying on that table. It wasn't MY Omi who would pucker up her lips and smooch me over and over again until she had kissed me no less then 20 times. It wasn't MY Omi who would whisper in my ear that she loves me so much and to take care of "daddy". It wasn't the same woman who I grew up with.

After the viewing all I wanted was to go home and check out. I wanted to sit on the couch and stare at the TV or the wall and let my mind go blank. Sadly, that wasn't an option, we had a few errands to run and I didn't get home until 4 and than we had to go get Nae and get her a dress for the funeral. Which, by the way, is not easy to do at the beginning of spring. NOBODY has ANYTHING that's black. After we got home, I was SO drained I would've given anything for a glass of wine and a moment for my mind to go blank. That didn't happen until almost 9, by that time I could barley keep my eyes open. Lil sis and my dad wanted to go have a drink, but I couldn't, just could NOT do it. My emotions were all over the place and I just couldn't.

I woke up this morning and for that few seconds before I was fully awake, I was confused and thought I dreamed the past few days. Once my mind and heart were awake, I realized the past few days were real and NONE of this was a bad dream, this is our new reality. We'll make it because that's what we do, but it won't be easy.

Controversial

Usually I love to be controversial, more for the shock value than anything else. When it's something important, however, I am very respectful. I believe that everybody has their own beliefs and they are MORE than entitled to live with lives by them. We can even talk about them, as long as you don't expect me to accept your beliefs as my own. Because if I disagree with them, that ain't gonna happen! I won't judge you and I expect the same from you. That being said, I need to go off about religion, faith, and how ones chooses to live their life.

I grew up Catholic, went to catholic school, church a few times a week and had a very good relationship with God. I listened to everything everyone said, read my bible, and lived my life according to what they all said. Granted I was a kid and messed up some, but on the whole I was a good child. My junior year in high school a friend of mine killed himself. He was a very confused young man (obviously) and made a bad decision. We were all dumb high school kids and the thought of one of our friends killing themselves in our itty bitty school was so off our radar, we didn't even see any of the classic signs. Of course after he died, we saw all the signs, but there is nothing we can do about that now. Anyway, growing up in the Catholic church, I was taught that if you killed yourself, you go to hell. Plain and simple. Sometime between the call that Adam was dead and his funeral, I questioned EVERYTHING! I asked my parents "why was Adam going to hell because he was a confused CHILD?!" It made no sense to me at all. It was at that point that my relationship with religion changed. I still believe in God and I still have faith, but TO ME it means something different than it did when I went to church every week.

My God doesn't sit up in Heaven pointing fingers at bad people or trailer parks so the tornado knows where to hit. I don't believe that MY God has his/her own will. It actually makes me VERY angry when people says "oh it was God's will" really? Was it? How do YOU know? But that's besides the point and a little disrespectful. I also don't believe that MY God doesn't judge me for what I do. Within reason, of course. If I had an open marriage and screwed everything that looked at me, well that's MY business and my husband's business. If I choose to love women, once again..MY choice. If I choose to get a divorce because I'm unhappy in my marriage..MY choice. If I choose to go out with my girlfriends while my husband stays home, it's just fine! If I even get drunk *GASP* while I'm out with the girls, that's OK too!

All of this is being brought to the surface because a friend of mine is going through some MAJOR life changes. The part that is REALLY pissing me off is that people who are "good Christians" (their words, not mine) are saying they will not support her decision to leave her husband because that's not how it should work. They won't even support her because it's not "the right choice". He doesn't beat her, he doesn't sit on the couch all day long and drink beer, he doesn't yell at her, he treats the children well, he's a great guy. He just isn't the right guy for HER. People are telling her that she needs to try harder and make it work, but what if she has? What if she's tried for 10 years to "make it work"? Why is SHE the one who has to make it work? Why is it HER responsibility to make it work? Never once have I heard anyone say "he should've have had more faith in God and Jesus". All the fingers are being pointed at her and all the blaming is being put on her shoulders. She's the "bad one" because she was unhappy and chose to leave her marriage. How are these people being "good Christians"?

From growing up in a very strict religion, I learned not to judge people. Or maybe it was my parents who taught me that. What I do know is that faith and religion are not about being better then others. Their choices might be different then the ones I may have made, but that doesn't make them wrong.

NOBODY was/is in her marriage but her and her husband. Those two are the ONLY ones who know what went on behind closed doors. So the people that are saying that she shouldn't have friends supporting her decision to leave her husband, need to really shut the hell up. If I want to get really dirty, I could say that being THAT judgmental and down right MEAN is very un-Christian and maybe they need to take a good look in the mirror. I can think all of this, but once again, they believe what they believe and I won't be able to change their minds. I do think the ones that are saying mean and hurtful things should shut the hell up. Preaching that God will hold you closer if you would just not leave your husband and be a good wife, is doing NO good at all. Nobody is saying you have to agree with her decision, but how about a little compassion? Is that too much to ask for? If you can't find anything nice to say, either don't say anything or just support her. This is a tough time for all involved, don't make it worse.

OK I think I'm done with my rant. I am not trying to offend anyone, I truly apologize if I did, but if you disagree with what I've said, feel free to let me know. I would love to have a discussion on this topic. I would love to understand the other side, I really would because right now, I don't.

Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop

Ooohhh look what Kristin gave me!!! I saw this on Jellie's blog last week and thought it was fun, but hadn't gotten around to posting about it. Now that Kristin tagged me AND emailed me, I can't NOT do it. Plus it's for a good cause. Here's the down low, ya'll...

Wanna have some fun, raise some money for a good cause, and make someone smile? Of course you do. Then join the Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop and help raise $5000 for Children's Miracle Network.

All you have to do is follow these easy rules...

HERSHEY’S BETTER BASKET BLOG HOP RULES

• Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
• Create a blog post giving a virtual Easter Basket to another blogger – you can give as many Virtual Baskets as you want.
• Link back to person who gave you an Easter Basket.
• Let each person you are giving a Virtual Easter Basket know you have given them a Basket.
• Leave your link at BetterBasket.info/BlogHop comment section. You can also find the official rules of this #betterbasket blog hop, and more information about Better Basket with Hershey’s there.
• Hershey’s is donating $10 per each blog participating to the Better Basket Blog Hop to Children’s Miracle Network (up to total of $5,000 by blog posts written by April 4th, 2010).
• Please note that only one blog post by each blog url will count towards the donation.

Hmmm now who am I going to give this wonderful Easter basket too? How about...

The Binder Family at Doing Good In her Name in honor of Payton. Kristin has been working so very hard on getting donations in Payton's name. She has received SO many wonderful donations and this basket is one more to add to the pile.

I also want to give a basket to AnnaMarie in her dear Torren's name. His birthday is today, feel free to go give her a big HUGE hug!

My twitter Wifey, Sass. I know you'll want to play along PLUS it's chocolate!

I also want to give one to Jamie in honor of her little angel baby and to celebrate her little man's life!

Anyone else wants to join in the fun? Feel free!

Want Some Good News?

Are ya'll ready for some GOOD news? I know I am! It seems like these past few months have been a up hill battle for me and my family. It has been a very stressful, tear inducing, fit throwing period in our lives, but the end has come!

It all started on January 4, my first day of winter term. It went great, got all my books, went to class, my tuition was paid and I had FINALLY got my financial aid money. Things were going well. Then January 7th came and as I was moving a box into the garage because we had a broker come over to crunch some numbers for us on a house, I broke my hand. I missed math class that day because I was in the ER. After that came many more weeks of doctor's appointments, an MRI and Nae sick with Mono. Oh not to mention my family was here for a late Christmas celebration, so the house was full with 5 children, one of them very sick, and 6 adults. My house is not big enough for all of those bodies. During all of this, I still had classes to attend, homework to do, and figure out what the hell was wrong with Nae and why everyone at the office was treating my like an idiot mom for calling them 5 times that week. Stressful to say the least!

At the end of January, I had surgery on my hand, once again, still attending classes and doing homework. Which, by the way, isn't easy when one is right handed but can not write with said hand, but I made it work. I missed one class after surgery, but that was it! I made sure I was only going to miss one class, unfortunately it was my math class, but there was nothing else I could do. During all of this my grandma had a stroke and was put in a nursing home. I had to make a choice not to let my grandma's condition throw me into an emotional spiral and I did. It wasn't easy, especially going to see her, but I did it. She's doing much better, still in the nursing home but is getting strong. She is ONE stubborn old lady. Love that woman!

Here we are now, at the end of all the crap and I came out better then I would have hoped! I always said I was going to try my hardest to get a 4.0 this term, but with everything going on, it is OK if I didn't. Well...I DID IT! I GOT A 4.0 THIS TERM! I barely did it, but who the hell cares, I did it! Although there is a bit of a hiccup because financial aid doesn't have FINAL grades and thinks I have an Incomplete in one of my classes, but I think I just have to call them to show them I do not have an Incomplete, but ALL A's!!!!

And then as we come full circle (this is a secret, so don't mention it to ANYONE just yet) all of this started by moving that damn box because the broker was coming over to see if we can get the house, as it turns out we CAN get the house. But even better then that, we GOT THE HOUSE! My dad signed the papers Wednesday, inspection is on Monday and we should have the keys at the end of April! OH MY GOODNESS! We'll move in May and my dad will be moving in May as well. I get to take care of my dad, the kids get their own rooms, we can get a dog, we'll have a huge backyard, but most importantly, my dad will be living with us! Of course I wish my mom were here to be a part of this, but it is OK. She is here in our excitement and she is a part of it because she is a part of all of us.

It was a rocky start to the year, but I think I did a pretty damn good job of powering through it and here I am now. A 4.0 student for the second term in a row, a homeowner, and my hand is not broken! I say that calls for some jumping up and down, some fist pumping and screaming! Party over here, who wants to come?!

I want to give a few shout outs, please forgive me if I forget you, it really is not my intention. I'll fix that, if you let me know though ;o)

Thank you to Fertility Chick who sent me a care package of CHOCOLATE and a great card before my surgery. The chocolate helped more then the Vicodine...sort of ;o)

Thank you to Ellen, who let me send her math questions and never ONCE laughed at me! You probably regret giving me your phone number, but I am SO grateful for your smartness! And for proof reading one my essays, thanks hon!

Thank you to CanadianMama who complimented me on my writing and told me it would get easier. You were right! It did get easier!

Thank you Mugsy for our chats on Google Talk and reading my whinny text messages, but never telling me to STFU. The distractions were always needed, no matter what! Plus I didn't have to follow through on my threat. I really didn't have time to do what I said, so it was a total empty threat ;o)

Ahhh Jules! What can I say that you don't already know? You let me vent in every single one of my emails, never got mad when my reply was WEEKS later and gave me information on Mono when I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Thanks, hon!

Thanks to Kristin, not only for being a huge supporter and never doubting me for a second, but for offering to help me with my math, even though she's homeschooling Marty AND has crazy Gabe at home too! WHEW, typing that makes ME tired! Kristin, you're an AMAZING woman and I don't know anyone who doesn't know you, that doesn't want to be EXACTLY like you when they grow up ;o)

Thank you, Amaprincess who also proof read one of my papers and was cheering me on. Even though SHE was going to school, too! She took the time to help me with mine. I appreciate it, I truly do!

Big thanks to Stacie who was my SITM buddy sent me AWESOME socks that I wore to my finals. And ROCKED those socks and my finals!

Thank you to Heather who was always cheering me along and sending me hilarious text messages to keep my spirits up. I am SO glad you got THAT app, its been fun learning all those interesting facts ;o)

Thank you to In Due Time for letting me use NYEBoy's brain to edit my papers. There is NO way I would have gotten an A on that last essay without his help!

Thank you to Tracy who let me use her hot tub to relax when I needed to decompress and for therapy, of course! I might be able to hold a Mason jar now ;o)

Thank you to Mel for sending me an email telling me there was NO way I couldn't get through finals and surgery! You were right, as always, failure was NO an option, thanks so much!

Thank you to Wise Guy who's emails gave me the confidence to laugh at the situation instead of crying and rocking back and forth on the floor in the fetal position. If I can't laugh at myself, there is no point in living. Thank you for being an inspiration, hon.

And finally thank you to each and every ONE of my Twitter friends! All the support was what kept me going when I wanted to throw the towel in.

I know I'm forgetting people and I am so sorry! I don't want to leave anyone out, I promise I don't.

THANK YOU for helping me get through a very tough few months. Without all of you, I would not be the woman I am.