Apr 18, 2011

Its Been Awhile....

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
So...hello there! Clearly I've been super busy. I had math last term, as many of you know, and while I worked my ass OFF, it didn't end well. I didn't fail it, which is good, but I didn't get a C either. I got a D..OUCH! Apparently trig isn't my thing. I even asked and begged for help, but for some reason I was behind in the understanding from day one. The good thing is that when I retake it, it'll be mostly a review. Hopefully the second time around, I'll be able to pick things a bit easier and quicker. This term isn't as busy but still busy. I'm taking a technical writing class, which I love but it's tough! We have a research paper due at the end of term that's going to be about 10 pages long, SINGLE spaced. ACK! Of course I picked a difficult and controversial topic, embryo donation, but so far, I've gotten quite a bit of information. We'll see how all this pans out. I'm hoping for an A in the class and if I keep up the work I've been doing, I'll do just that.

The kiddos are doing well, too. Nae has been ungrounded for over a month now and not once has she screwed up! I'm really hoping that she learned her lesson and realized how stupid she was acting. I highly doubt we're at the end of all the insanity, but I know we can get through anything. Zilla is just as crazy as he's always been. That kid's energy level is through the roof! He also has a bit of an attitude, that I am consistently adjusting for him. I'm told this is normal, I have my doubts. Personally, I think he's trying to drive me crazy, but that's just me.

And NOW for the heavy shit. I'm pretty sure my dad has a girlfriend or something. Not sure what to call her because I think it's mostly online and phone calls. I don't know how they "met" or anything like that. I do know that they have talked on the phone a few times and post things on Facebook that make me want to throw up and scream. It sounds silly, me overacting over an "online" thing, but this is all new for me. I don't know how to act or if I have any reason to act a certain way. I haven't talked to him because I don't know what to say and I don't really want to talk to him about this. He deserves to me happy and if he is, that's great! I'll get over it, I'm sure, even if it turns out to be "something".

Right now, I'm just trying to be honest with my emotions and with myself. Ahhh how I love these little doses of reality.

Short but sweet post for now.

11 friends have commented:

My name is Andy. on April 18, 2011 at 11:02 AM said...

Great to hear from you! I'm glad that things with Nae have settled down. Sounds like school is going well too. And good luck with the Dad thing.... I can't imagine!

Kristin on April 18, 2011 at 12:44 PM said...

I am so glad to see you posting again.

School sounds crazy busy.

And, when it comes to your dad, I know it may be hard but try to remember that a man who has lost a long term spouse tends to live longer if they find someone new. My Grandpa lost my Grandma after almost 50 years of marriage. He found someone else and married her. His new wife wasn't a fabulous person but I will always be grateful to her because I truly believe her companionship gave us many extra years with my Grandpa.

{{{Hugs}}}

lostintranslation on April 18, 2011 at 3:01 PM said...

Hey, I lost my mom last November -my parents had been very happily married for 42 years -and now there's a new woman in my dad's life (for a few months already). It's weird, but when he told me (and he found that extremely difficult), I was very happy for him. I met her the last time I was visiting him (we don't live in the same country) and she seems to be a nice woman, but of course nothing compared to my mom (but I don't want to compare at all anyway and luckily neither does my dad). We're all figuring out how to deal with this new situation, but so far it's going OK. I hope your dad will tell you what's going on - it'll be easier to deal with if you know exactly what it is I think. Good luck.

PCOSChick on April 18, 2011 at 7:26 PM said...

So glad to hear from you!

St Elsewhere on April 19, 2011 at 12:09 AM said...

Well, my response is in bullets (silver ones, nonetheless)

a) Am glad you passed through the prev semester even if you had a subpar performance in Trignometry.

b) You chose a difficult paper which is a little difficult but you already belong to a community where you will have resources and people living through it. (I also NOW get it why you asked about the topic on FB).

c) I am glad Nae is behaving very responsibly and bubbly Zilla remains the powerhouse. They are good kids.

d) Dunno what to say about your Dad. I hope the woman is worth it.

e) Keep writing!

claire on April 20, 2011 at 11:47 PM said...

yay you blawged!!

Danielle on April 21, 2011 at 12:07 PM said...

My love, you've come back!!:) I'm not commenting on school because it takes you away from me so I would rather just avoid the topic altogether!

Let's just jump to your dad. IF he does have a lady friend, good for him! Your mom will always be your mom and he will always love her. BUT it is good for him to make new "friends" and if some sort of relationship comes from it, you are right, you will get over it and be happy for him!

Dora on April 25, 2011 at 1:15 PM said...

Good to see you, girl! Glad things are better with Nae. You've already gotten great comments about your dad. I agree with them, but will just say that you're entitled to your feelings, but it's probably best if you don't share your feelings with your dad. We're here to listen.

Email me if you have any embryo donation questions. :-)

Quiet Dreams on April 25, 2011 at 3:17 PM said...

I can only imagine how hard and confusing the situation with your dad must be. I think that Kristin has a good point. Much, much, much love to you. MWAH!

Alana on May 6, 2011 at 10:29 PM said...

--Glad to see I'm not the only one who has been away from blogging for a bit. :)

--YAY you for kicking ass with your school work. You are ROCKIN' it, Girl!

--I imagine you have very mixed emotions about your Dad's love life. While you certainly want him to be happy, anyone new will be difficult NOT to compare to your mom (who we know you love and miss SO deeply!) Hang in there, Gal!

Kristin on June 20, 2011 at 2:55 PM said...

Hello! I know you don't know me, but we've got something in common. I got your blog address off the Stirrup Queen's blogroll and was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me help a couple who is trying to add a little one to their family. We're holding a silent auction for them this weekend (Friday and Saturday) on goteamwitt.blogspot.com and need help getting the word out! We would love it if you would spread the word via social media or here on your blog. Additionally, we are always looking for more donations to auction off, so if you or someone you know might be interested in making a donation, all the information is under the donate tab. If you have any questions or would be willing to post a pre-written blog post about the auction and the sponsored couple, please contact Kristin at goteamwitt@gmail.com Thanks in advance for taking the time to consider this!

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