Sep 1, 2009

Things That Are Driving Me Insane And Keeping Me Sane

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
First up I'll whine about what's driving me INSANE! For if, no other reason, then to get it out of my head. Weeee got bullet points! I've never done them, so this is my first time. Be kind *blushes*

~Peaches and her non-boyfriend/boyfriend situation: One of you two need to make a move. Either be together or don't. Actually, I take that back. You don't need to make a decision, just stop saying his name every time we have a conversation. His name is becoming one I'm cringing at.

~My foot: I have no idea WTF I did to it, but DAMN it hurts! I can't put any pressure on my heel, so I'm walking on my tip toes and I look like a freaking idiot. Foot, please stop hurting. I'm sorry I did whatever I did to you. I didn't mean to hurt you. Feel free to stop looking like a bear claw.

~ My friend who's starting her own "business": Umm sweetie? It's a multi-level marketing scheme. I really thought you were smarter then this. I see where I went wrong in my thinking, but please stop asking me if I want to listen to your auto/life/ and debt consolidation solutions speech. I don't. I know it's not a way to make money. I truly hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

~Zilla: Dear Goddess, I love you more then almost anything in this world, but PLEASE when you're talking to me LOOK at me and not the TV! I would love for you to make dinner "tomorrow" night, but love, you can't cook without me. How about I help you and you don't throw a fit and end up in your room? TRUST me, that's a great way to spend an evening. Not in your room, that is.

~Nae: Yes we WILL go school clothes shopping. I swear your father and I haven't forgotten. We do have a plan, I know OUR plan does not match YOUR plan, but we're the adults and we know how much money we have this week AND next week. Shocking? Yes. True? Also yes!

~People who are holding my grant application hostage: I get that you have to make sure I don't have any unpaid school loans AND to see if my tax information is as I stated in my application. I totally understand your need to double check EVERYTHING. But my last name starts with a "C", shouldn't you be done by now? Do you realize that Dirty may have to go back to work sooner then we planned because you're taking your damn time? Oh you don't? Well, yes, that's true. So, can you PLEASE hurry up?

~The possibility of putting Zilla in after school care: *sigh* This is huge for me and Dirty. We haven't EVER had either of the children in daycare unless I was there. This could change when Dirty gets a job and I'm in school. I realize it may just be for a few hours and it really isn't that big of a deal, but it is for us.

~The possibility of leaving Nae home alone until I get home from school. Once again, it wouldn't be for long, but EEK! I totally trust that Nae will be fine, but...EEK! Not a huge fan of this idea.

~The dinner dilemma. I have NO idea WTF I'm going to make for dinner tonight. As soon as I know, you will know.

~Laundry. Yes, I'm aware that you multiply as you sit in my laundry basket, all I ask from you is that you slow down a touch. And PLEASE, for the love of god and EVERYTHING that is holy stop bringing the CLEAN laundry to the dark side! It's annoying. I know I folded that shirt already.

~The need for my mom whenever a problem arises. It's been three years. Almost four, actually. Feel free to stop hanging around. I am perfectly capable of dealing with a random foot injury, Zilla changing schools, going BACK to school myself AND everything else without my mom. Yes, life would be a lot less stressful if I could call her up and have her tell me she went through this, as well, but that's not the card I was dealt. So, please move along, there is nothing to see here. Certainly not me crying while scrubbing out the pool.

OK, enough of that stuff! It's out of my head and now I can move on to the things that are keeping me sane, thankyouverymuch!

~Dirty: You know that I am in pain, yet you continue to pretend that I'm fine because you know how much I hate "relying" on others. Yes, my foot hurts like a bitch (whatever THAT means), thanks for pretending it's "fine". I love you!

~Zilla: As much as you drive me INSANE, dammit if I don't think it's funny when you tell me some random story or you tell me something you "just figured out". Such as; "Sometimes you can get stuck on looking at something and someone has to snap to get you to come back". So true, love.

~Nae: Once again, as much as you drive me INSANE you are a smart beautiful young woman and I'm so proud of you. I love that you're so mature, but can still be the little girl who was my side kick for 5 years. You crack me up with you lame jokes but make me think when you're standing in the same room with Peaches and I and we're having an adult conversation, I wonder if you're "too young" to know what we're talking about. Sometimes you already know and sometimes I chase you away because I don't want to know that you know. Slow down a touch, love. You'll only be 12 for 9 more months. Lets not go so fast.

~My bloggy friends: I don't know if there ever HASN'T been a time that ya'll keep me from going insane, but right now, ya'll are what I'm living off of. You make me think outside the box. You make me pray for something so hard for someone I have never met in my life. You allow me to overcome my fears and move on. Yet, you also allow me to wallow in my sadness and frustration and don't judge me for it. I wish I had a teleporter so that I could visit each and every one of you. Even if I show up on your door step and you kick me off your property. At least I got to SEE you with my own eyes, in real life!

~My ipod: You are in my ears constantly! I love that you can drown out the video games but allow me to read blogs at the same time. I love that when I put you on shuffle, you surprise me with a Nickleback song when I go running and I can run out any frustrations that I may have. I also love that you always know when I need a Jason Mraz song for my cool down period before I do.

~Peggle: You have been my dirty little secret for the past two days, thanks to Heather. I have played you more times in the last two days then I have cleaning the house. And that is why I love you! My foot is all jacked up and sitting on the couch spacing it until someone snaps their fingers or asks for dinner is less then appealing. Sitting in front of my computer cocked to the side, with my foot on a stool playing Peggle is a WAY more attractive option to me! Yes, I stayed up WAY to late last night/this morning (2AM) playing you and I paid the price today by being Super Cunt, but I wouldn't take back a minute of our time together for anything. Well..unless Jason Mraz wants to take me on as his love. Then I'll totally leave you. Sorry.

~Twitter: Ahhh you know JUST how to distract me from whatever is was that I was thinking/doing before my Twhirl screen turned PINK to notify me that someone replied to me(!). I am constantly aware of you being in the middle of my desktop. Just because you're not on the forefront of my screen doesn't mean I don't know you're there. 'Cuz, baby, I know, I know.

~Feedjit: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! I had NO idea you and I could be such intense lovers! I have you "listening" to my page all day and I'm ALWAYS checking on you to see what new search gem you've given me. Who knew that you could Google " patron tequila get you drunk off your gorilla" and find MY blog?! Yes, it's true, I've blogged about a Purple Gorilla, but not about Patron. That I'm aware of, at least. I do love Patron tequila, don't get me wrong. It's my favorite tequila, I'm just unsure why you chose THAT phrase. I sure hope you weren't disappointed when you came to THIS post. It has nothing to do with gorillas OR tequila. Unless you count the comment Jamie made about a song she heard. If so, then WOOHOO go YOU!

~Bud Light Lime: Oooohhhhh you had me at the first sip! You sort of taste like Corona but with a bit more bite. Mmmmm you are delicious. You are now a staple in my fridge. You taste really good when we have tacos. Actually, you taste good any time. Especially with salt. D_E-L-I-S-H!

~Discovery channel: How much would I LOVE it if I could ACTUALLY go swimming with REAL sharks? (Read: SO MUCH!) But since I can't, I'll watch all those sharks LEAPING out of the water in South Africa and SNATCH those seals in their powerful jaws and cheer for the sharks, through you. I really would love to watch the hippos do the dirty deed, but since hippos aren't native to Oregon, I'll settle for you, Discovery Channel. Happily, even.

~Jason Mraz: Your music makes me smile. And that's enough to make me stay sane any day of the week. Oh and you're not to bad on the eyes *wink wink* Also? I'd totally have a fling with you. It could be our secret, I PROMISE *crosses fingers* I would NEVER share the pictures with ANYONE. *ahem*

~Snickers ice cream bars: Now that you and I are following each other on Twitter, can you hook a sister up? Doesn't that mean that we're like, BFF's and shit, now? It's true that I've always enjoyed a Snickers every now and then, but OMG the ice cream version is WAY better! It's hard to "just say no" when I remember your creamy ice cream and delicious caramel. Oh how they dance on my tongue.......and my hips :-|

~My mom: Yes, I know that "need" to have you when a problem arises is actually you. I'll learn to differentiate between YOU and the NEED one of these years. I want to thank you for everything you did for me. From "allowing" *wink wink* me to be at your wedding to giving me a plant that I haven't killed yet. You showed me what it's like to have a 50/50 marriage and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be as wise as I am today. I might, actually be in jail for some crime against Dirty. We both thank you for that.

Dad: "Thank you" just doesn't seem to be enough, ever. I've cared for and protected you more in these past three, almost four years, then I have my entire life. You taught me to be kind and compassionate. You taught me that marriage isn't about the small things. It isn't about "winning", sometimes it's about your partner's feelings. Thank you.

Aaaand DONE! I had more sane things then insane things. Guess today wasn't such a bad day, after all. Even though it felt like it!

27 friends have commented:

Sheliza on September 1, 2009 at 7:16 AM said...

damn!! that was a long ass list!! Wow...where to start...MLM ugh, next she will be selling miracle juice in a bottle for $80. Kids, yeah well they are interesting that's for sure! Laundry, I climb laundry mountain more often that I want to. Your foot :-( Twitter, still not sure how to do it. Bud Light Lime, probably the sanest part of the post!Snickers ice cream bars, should pair well with Bud Light Lime. In the end you seem to have a great life! Sorry for the choppy and random comment but I am insanely sane too!!

Caitlin on September 1, 2009 at 8:39 AM said...

Love this post!

I would have to agree that snickers and blogland keep me sane. Sounds like your kids are very lucky to have a mama like you!

PS - what did you and Zilla end up making for dinner? ;)

KimboSue on September 1, 2009 at 8:58 AM said...

First off… LOVE the post!

Sorry your foot is acting up for no reason?
Sorry the grant app keepers are holding you up. UGH – don’t they know you have a timeline?
UGH for daycare. But YAY you have a need for it right?
WTF for dinner = me every night
Our laundry must talk to each other. Mine is doing the same thing!
Peggle = ??? Searched for it on the iphone. It costs $4.99. Are you NUTS?
Twitter is the only social site I refuse to participate in. Why? Dunno..think the name just bothers me. That, and that you call the posts “tweets.” How does Tweet = Twitter? Why not call it Twittering?
FEEDJIT - LOVE IT! Just looked at mine and people recently found me searching for “rayno ceramic tile”, “miles of chocolate + expiration.” HUH?
Snickers + ice cream = Ice cream Snickers = HEAVEN
Love you bloggy friend!

becomingwhole on September 1, 2009 at 10:42 AM said...

No wonder that stuff was making you crazy--there was way too much of it in there!

Foot pain is the WORST. Well, one of the worst, anyway.

Glad you have the bud and snickers ice cream to dull the pain. ;)

JamieD on September 1, 2009 at 11:52 AM said...

Don't you love bullet points? It is the most awesome way to get so many seemingly unrelated things off your chest.

Ahhh . . . what I wouldn't do for a Bud Light Lime right now. With LOTS of salt!

I keep telling myself I'm going to start Twittering. And start a Facebook page. And update my blog look.

Maybe I'll just have a Snickers ice cream bar instead.

Love ya!

Kristin on September 1, 2009 at 12:07 PM said...

-Zilla talking at the TV...I think that's a male thing because Marty is horrible for talking to the other side of the room and not to the person he is addressing.

-"And PLEASE, for the love of god and EVERYTHING that is holy stop bringing the CLEAN laundry to the dark side! It's annoying. I know I folded that shirt already."...Bwahaha, so that's how the never ending laundry pile occurs!

I hope all the things that are driving you crazy ease up and I'm glad you have so many sanity savers to keep you grounded.

As for the transporter, if you ever find one, let me know. I have a ton of visiting to do, BTW, my door is always open to you.

Mugsy on September 1, 2009 at 1:34 PM said...

I heart you. that's all.

(Oh and I hurt my heel at the gym a couple months back. Once the husband forbid from walking on it for a couple of days it magically got better!)

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) on September 1, 2009 at 1:41 PM said...

Great post! Sorry there's so much insanity, but I'm glad there are so many wonderful things to help you find your sanity again! Blessings, peace...

sunflowerchilde on September 1, 2009 at 2:01 PM said...

Wow, that was a long post! Sorry I haven't been commenting too much, I'm just not feeling up to it these days. I AM reading, though! Glad to know your sane list is longer than your insane list!

Aunt Becky on September 1, 2009 at 4:22 PM said...

Pretty sure I still haven't found anything that keeps me sane. Do let me know if you find my marbles. I seem to have lost them.

(my mother is alive and across town, and I still wish that I had a mother to go to with stuff.)

Morgan on September 1, 2009 at 6:16 PM said...

I just ~LOVED~ this post! I can honestly say I read every word and didn't even skim through any of it.

One thing that caught my attention the most is what you were saying about your blog buddies. If I had to name 10 things that bugged the shit out of me- not being able to meet my blog buddies personally would be one of them for sure! I find so much comfort in all these blogs, more comfort than a real life friend can even give me. I also feel like I have a connection and understanding with so many of them compared to the people I know in real life.

alicia on September 1, 2009 at 7:32 PM said...

ok wow long post! i admit I skimmed a lot of it!! i am bad bloggy friend!

i hope your foot gets better, that is soo lame! i agree snickers ice cream and bud light lime, good combo! haha

Clio on September 1, 2009 at 7:57 PM said...

just this snapshot of your life these days made me dizzy.
good luck juggling everything, turn up the ipod! ;)

Sunny on September 1, 2009 at 8:27 PM said...

Whew, what a list!!! I don't have much to say, other than you are a truly awesome person. Truly. Thanks for sharing your "stuff." :)

Busted Tube on September 1, 2009 at 9:49 PM said...

I love it- well written post! All the best for a quick healing of your poor foot. When are you supposed to start school? I hope the irritating stuff gets crowded out by awesome stuff like Snickers ice cream bars! Yay!

TSM Oregon on September 1, 2009 at 10:37 PM said...

Long list for sure!! I was afraid I would see "my neighbor is crazy and won't leave me out of her drama!!" LOL I'm glad I didn't.

Remember you can always come down here when things get to be too much down there!

WiseGuy on September 2, 2009 at 12:40 AM said...

I was scared that you may have placed only two odd things on your drive-me-bat-shit-crazy list, but I found quite a few things....

When will Peaches get her act together? Some people are programmed to just trundle along.

And I want your bear claw to revert back to the likeliness of a human foot.

Good Luck with getting the grant!

Poltzie on September 2, 2009 at 1:43 PM said...

Whew, that was a long list hehe! Bud Light Lime - SO GOOD!! Sorry about your foot, hopefully it just magically gets better. IF not, maybe a doctor?

Gabby on September 5, 2009 at 1:20 AM said...

have i told you lately i love your blog?? seriously, i love lists and that one was great! sometimes you have to make a list to show yourself that you are more sane and insane :)

MissMeliss on September 6, 2009 at 3:19 PM said...

awwww!!! dear, dear!!!

your foot - well, i am no expert, but something tells me it might be a heal spur or plantar fascitis... i only know because i've had PF, which technically never goes away fully... some say ice it.. i say STRETCH your calf muscles and take NSAID (ibuprofen)... it's likely going to take awhile to feel better.

or better yet, call your dr!! ;-)

loved this post! :) loved the 'laundry multiplies' when it is in the basket. isn't THAT the truth!!!!! egads! ;0)

BIG HUGS!!! happy labor day weekend,

melissa

ps. somehow i knew you'd appreciate that pic of Mia too!!! :)

pps... got get yourself some chocolate or a glass of wine! one of the two usually do the trick, don't they?!!! *snort*

ppps.... daycare, well, it's a necessary evil for us, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. :) i'll pray you make a decision you're comfortable with!!!

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL on September 7, 2009 at 9:43 AM said...

I love your heartfelt lists...

Hope your foot feels better soon.

Hope you figured out something delicious for dinner.

Hope your daycare/afterschool care issues are resolved without too much heartache.

Hugs!

Belle on September 10, 2009 at 7:20 AM said...

If you get the Snickers Ice Cream Bar hookup from following on Twitter... please let me know and I'll join Twitter ASAP! Love the list...

honeywine on September 10, 2009 at 10:17 AM said...

That's a lot of stuff. All I'm doing is going to the hospital and apparently being pushed off to buy toilet paper.

MissMeliss on September 11, 2009 at 10:06 AM said...

how are you dear? doing better today?!!!

melissa

Phoebe on September 11, 2009 at 5:23 PM said...

Wow, you touched on some serious issues. I can relate to the dinner one. Everyday we go through the same ordeal around 5pm. My DH calls and says, "what do you want for dinner?" and I say, "I dunno, what do you want?" This really drives me insane.

I hope your mystery foot problem cleared up!

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