Feb 9, 2010

Progress...

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
But first, lets throw a cute little hissy fit *throws a FIT*....ahhh all better!

So my stitches came out today. I did really well and didn't pass out. It didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it was going too! There was a point when I wanted to smack the nurse in the face, but that was before she even took out my stitches. As she was getting ready to take out my stitches and tells me where to sit, I mention that I'm going to need to lay down. Better to be safe then sorry! And it isn't me being a failure, it's me knowing myself. If I say it enough, I'll believe it. I'm sure she was just making light of the situation and all, but I didn't care for the way she went about it. I'm over sensitive about passing out, even more so about this whole finger fiasco, and I was insulted. She went on about how she thought I was strong and blah blah blah. I just ignored her and did my best not to take TOO much offense in her ribbing. She took out my stitches and went and got the doc. He said my incisions look good, but I should have most, if not all of my movement back by now. Wait...WHAT?! Did you not see how tight those "just 7" stitches were that were in my hand a few minutes ago?! Not to mention the fact that my hand has been in some kind of bandage for 13 days, but also I haven't been able to wash it, AND my skin is dry and cracked. All of these combined make my hand very stiff and tight. I have been moving it, but give me some credit here, people!

So now...I have to soak it in warm soapy water for 30 minutes a day, then make a fist and straighten my whole hand, three times a day. If my range of movement isn't back by next week, I have to do physical therapy. Really?! Physical therapy on my FINGER? Come on! What next?! Wait...forget I asked that...

I'm very grateful that my stitches are gone, even though I know I don't sound like it. I am also grateful the pain is pretty much nonexistent, and I'm able to take a shower and wash my OWN hair. All of these are great things, don't get me wrong, but I am just DONE with this whole damn thing. I don't want to do this anymore, I just want to replace my hand with the one I had before and run away. I'm SO sick of going to doctor's appointments, having a doctor tell me to do something or not give me enough information, sick of being touched..just DONE! Then all of this goes through my head and I think "aww poor little rich girl...get OVER yourself!" Seriously, I'm kind of being a whinny little bitch about this whole thing. I can't promise I'll be happy about this whole thing anytime soon, but I will do what I need to do in order to be done with this. I'll also do my best and refrain from whinnying....ish

17 friends have commented:

Fertility Chick on February 9, 2010 at 6:23 PM said...

Yay to getting the stitches out! I hear what you're saying, it's got to be frustrating - even with the amazing progress you're making. Vent away my friend, it's better to get it out! Thinking about you!

Flying Monkeys on February 9, 2010 at 6:37 PM said...

I'm glad you finally got your stitches out. I know your frustrated but you're doing great and a little PT never hurt anyone. : )

Mrs. Gamgee on February 9, 2010 at 6:39 PM said...

Getting stitches out can be very traumatic... glad that it went better than you expected. I hope that you are able to get your full range of motion back quickly!

sunflowerchilde on February 9, 2010 at 6:40 PM said...

Ugh, I totally feel for you. I was SUCH a wuss after my knee surgery last fall. My husband came with me and laughed his ass off TWICE. First, when they took out my stitches, I winced and covered my eyes and almost freaked out. And yeah, it was nothing. Especially since the surgery apparently messes with your nerves and I had no feeling in my skin in that area (still not completely back, actually).

Then the doctor came in and said my knee was kind of puffy and swollen from excess fluid and he could aspirate it with a needle, if I wanted. My hubby talked me into it (in retrospect, it was a good idea). The doc pulled out this HUGE syringe with a big ol' needle on it and I was like, ummmmmmm, OMG. So I covered my eyes again and let my husband have another fun time laughing at me while they pulled this disgusting fluid out of my knee.

All that to say that - I sympathize. It sucks. And the range of motion WILL come back, you won't realize it and then one day it will be back to normal. Hang in there.

honeywine on February 9, 2010 at 6:59 PM said...

You know I read something back in the 80's about Barishnikov having to drag his body to a hot bath every morning just to be able to move from the constant agony that years of ballet had caused. I could never forget that. And now I can't forget your finger. I've been reading about it in the sidebar and cringing every time.

CanadianMama on February 9, 2010 at 7:31 PM said...

Oh you poor lady - I'd be done too! Doesn't the universe realize you are a mom. A mom who is in school - you don't have time to have to deal with this!

Big Hugs :)))

WiseGuy on February 10, 2010 at 1:07 AM said...

Oh, it must be great 'to have your hand back'. I am also happy that you survived the whole ordeal so well.

But overall, I wish that your movements come back 100 percent, minus the need for physical therapy.

You are doing it good, girl!

tomi on February 10, 2010 at 1:39 AM said...

(((HUGS!!!)))

Some people are just too much sometimes. Yay for stitches being out!

Work that finger! (it just sounds so wrong doesn't it?)

;)

kimbosue on February 10, 2010 at 7:19 AM said...

Oh lordy. It's funny that the smallest things can be such a pain in the ass sometimes! Glad you got the stiches out.

Kristin on February 10, 2010 at 8:05 AM said...

You are NOT being a whiny bitch. If is damned frustrating to not be functioning at your normal level. You are doing fabulously.

Raelene on February 10, 2010 at 8:22 AM said...

You have every right to complain! It's a frustrating situation. I'm so glad you are almost all better!!!

kate on February 11, 2010 at 1:31 PM said...

With all you've been through with your finger, you've EARNED a little whining! Whine away, girl!

Sunny on February 12, 2010 at 11:36 AM said...

Sometimes it all just builds up, and we have to get it out. Whine away, girl. I'm complaining about bedrest and GD when I've been blessed with two babies after infertility... we are only human, after all. :)

SassyCupcakes on February 12, 2010 at 9:13 PM said...

It's great the stitches all came out okay. And you're totally allowed to be shitty about it. Screw the nurse, you know yourself, if you were going to faint there was nothing you could do to prevent it. Doesn't matter how tough you are.

Mugsy on February 13, 2010 at 9:57 PM said...

I almost chopped the tips of two fingers off and spent a long time with stitches and a brace and I GET how frustrating it is to not be healed instantly.

Also, left you an award on my blog. :)

Quiet Dreams on February 16, 2010 at 2:46 PM said...

I hope you get your healthy-free-moving finger back SOON. (And she totally should not have treated you that way.)

Coffeegrl on March 2, 2010 at 4:18 PM said...

Ummm. You probably know how I feel about the medical establishment. There are some *wonderful* staff out there - including our family doctor in Seattle who thankfully treats all of us. But I've not had such great luck all the time and there's nothing more frustrating than feeling like you want to smack the nurse/doctor before they even get started! I'm sure you'll never be like that once you finish school ;) Anyway, I'm glad the stitches are out and I hear you on the frustration of PT. I had nearly a year of PT on my leg before I regained full range of motion and I'm not even sure what happened to it in the first place! But I'm grateful I did it and things are pretty much back to normal. Hopefully you'll be back to speed in no time!

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