Over analyzing isn't as much fun as one might think...

I have this nasty habit of over anaylizing EVERYTHING. I get in my head when I'm doing mundane tasks. I think about conversations I've had and I go over every little thing that was said between both parties. I think about what the other person said and what I said and what I SHOULD have said but didn't because I was too concerned about their feelings. I'm begninng to think that this only benefits everyone BUT me! I think if I said exactly what was on my mind, I would feel less crazy in my head. I would feel like the situation was resolved. Even if it wasn't a "bad" situation. I NEED to speak my mind more often. I NEED to tell others EXACTLY what I think and what is going on in my head. It may not make them feel so great, but in the end the friendships/relatonships will be stronger because nothing is not being said. Everything is out in the open. That's how things should be. I shouldn't have to comfort others and feel resentful toward them because I feel it isn't fair. I have feelings myself. My feelings and wants matter just as much as anybody else's. I'm not a martyer and I shouldn't act as such. I have NO right to put myself on the back burner for anyone ALL the time. Being a friend, a good person, or a caring person is just fine, but I don't get to put my feelings aside all the time. I wouldn't allow anyone in my life to do that, so why should I allow myself to do it?

Slowly, I am realizing this. Slowly I am letting others know how I am feeling and thinking. One day, I will be an actual adult and say EXACTLY what is on my mind! Soon this day will come....