So Pissed!

I don't even have the words for how pissed off I am. All I know is that I am shaking with rage and I would love to direct this anger at the person that deserves it, but I don't think it will do any good at all.

Before my mother met and married my father, she was married to a complete asshole. An asshole that beat her, wouldn't allow her to nurse her babies, one that cheated on her, plus many other horrible things. In that marriage they had 3 children together and one he brought from a previous relationship. Every single one of those children are fucked up. They've all been in jail, were or are doing drugs, stole and manipulated both my parents. They blamed my mother for leaving their father. They blamed my dad for everything and anything they could think of. There is a 7 year gap between the youngest child of that marriage and myself. That's a very large gap, but there was a time when we were close. Not anymore. In fact, I am not close with ANY of them at all. If I never speak to any of them, it will be too soon.

I could go on and on about all the horrible things my older sister did to my parents but I don't have that kind of time and frankly there is just TOO much to say. I will say that when my mom was in the hospital, DYING of cancer, my older sister took their car to do something and sold their handicapped sticker. She stole jewelry, money, their checkbook, my money, she lied about being raped, just to name a few. I'm sure you get the picture. She is NOT a nice person. It may be the drugs that are helping her do this shit, but that's only an excuse. She's been a user (of people) since I can remember.

Since we moved and my dad came into his money, shes popped back up on our radar, weird right? She's asked him for money because she needs food and OF course she isn't doing drugs anymore, so the money isn't for drugs. What the fuck ever! Nobody believes your bull shit. The worst part? Is she is making MY dad feel bad.

He went to California with my Lil Sis and they were going to meet here, my dad even paid for a bus ticket for her, but she made excuses to not show up. One of her excuses was that it was raining and she couldn't get to the bus station. Oh? Really? The rain prevents you from getting to the bus station? I get that you live in California and probably aren't use to the rain like we are here in Oregon, but I promise you, it wasn't enough to keep you from your father and little sister. But whatever, clearly it wasn't important enough.

The latest news is that she texted my dad tonight and said "daddy I'm desperate, I need to get out of here". She wants to come here! Uhhh no. Apparently she has some court date but is willing to miss that "just to come home". Well her "home" isn't here anymore. Not because she left us and didn't contact us for years after my mom died, but because she is a person I don't want in my life, sister or not. This isn't only just about me, its about my kids, Dirty, AND my dad. I am SO sick of her using my dad for her benefit. She treated him like shit when he never did anything wrong. He never treated her differently. He didn't treat her like she wasn't his blood, he accepted her. Even when she stole from his dying wife. He still treated her like he would me or my Lil Sis.

I'm SO tempted to call her and tell her to get the hell out of our lives. She has never done any of us any good by being in it. I know that's harsh, but it's true. I've been hurt by her before, but that pain has been replaced with anger. And I will protect my dad and my family in any way I feel the need too. And if that means giving her a call, I'll do just that.