Almost three years ago Dirty made a HUGE mistake. Like "I am the dumbest person on Earth and I don't deserve you" mistake. He didn't have an affair or anything like that, but it was pretty dumb.
My mom was dying, his grandfather was dying and we were driving to do some Christmas shopping. Christmas shopping is stressful enough, but add in two dying family members and a distraught wife, well it just makes the whole experience THAT much stressful. Just so you know, I am NOT making excuses for Dirty's behavior, nor has he, I'm simply explaining the situation. Anyway...we were driving down the highway and some guy decides to cut off Dirty. So much so that he had to slam on the breaks, causing my coffee to spill all over the floor. Dirty being a guy, decides to cut this guy off back, stupid idea number 1. Guy gets pissed, rightly so, and merges into our lane so much so that Dirty has to drive into the shoulder to avoid getting hit. Dirty is REALLY pissed off at this point, gets in front of him, stops our truck and GETS OUT OF THE IT! Stupid idea number 2. Guy is taken by surprise, rolls down his window and yells something unkind to Dirty. Dirty gets even MORE pissed, kicks out his leg and MAKES CONTACT WITH GUY'S REAR FENDER! Stupid idea number 3. He is just as surprised as Guy is, but his adrenalin is going and he's pretty shaken up. Not to mention really pissed off at himeself. We continue on down the road and didn't see guy again, apparently he saw US and called the cops. Dirty is apologizing to me and mentally kicking (HAHA) himself for letting the guy get the better of him. We finish our Christmas shopping and go about our Christmas festivities and such. His grandfather passes away on Christmas and before we go to the funeral (a few days later), 2 police officers show up at our door to ARREST DIRTY! He tells them we're on our way to a funeral and he'll "turn himself in" on our way home. Oddly enough they agree. I'm not sure why they agreed to that, but they did. We went to the funeral and then went to the police station on our way home. Dirty was booked and finger printed and all that stuff and then released. Not sure why, probably becuase it was a misdemeanor?
He got a court date and a lawyer and thought we had taken care of everything. We were making payments on the fines and the damage caused my him kicking the vehicle and Dirty was on probation. It was a big deal because Dirty was ON probabtion, but it was considered a misdemeanor, so the court didn't see it as a big deal. He had to check in every month when he payed his fees, no guns in the house and stay out of trouble. Fairly simple, until he got pulled over and TAKEN to jail last year becuase there was a warrant out for his arrest.
Dirty was working nights and would normally be home around 11pm and when he wasn't I was TRYING not to freak out. I willed myself to not think "my husband is dead" thoughts and go take a shower. I even left my phone in the bedroom, like a big girl. In the 15 minutes it took me to take a shower, he had called about 10 times, all from jail *sigh* Once he got a hold of me, I went into action. Called whoever I needed to call to BAIL my HUSBAND out of jail, called my dad cried to him, got off the phone and threw up in the driveway. I was FREAKING OUT, obviously. We had NO idea why there was a warrant out for him and we getting no information. The warrant was like 6 months old and we NEVER knew about it. We asked many questions, but once again, no answers. We finally bailed him out and made plans to call a lawyer first thing in the morning.
Dirty felt horrible and didn't even want to sleep in the same bed as me. He felt like he had "no right" to be in our family and was a poor example for our kids. I felt horrible for him, I wasn't even mad at him, I just felt bad. I assured him he did deserve to be in our family and we would get through this. And we did. We got a lawyer and did whatever we needed to do to fix this problem (again) so it could be behind us. From there on out, his court fees and such were paid first! There will be NO mistakes on our part so when November 23, 2009 came and he was off probation, we would have NOTHING to worry about.
We paid all of his fines and fees OFF last week, I even have the receipt to prove it. On November 19, Dirty went to the courthouse for the very last time (so we thought) and paid the rest of everything off. He could have gotten an extension, but we had the money then, so we just decided to pay it off, completely. We celebrated that night with a Blazer game and some beer. YAY, he was free! HA! Not even close!
Monday, I was in the kitchen boiling eggs for egg salad sandwiches when 2 police officers come strolling up our driveway. My first thought was "oh shit! I'm missing class tonight because Dirty is going to jail". When they came to the door and asked him Dirty by his first and last name, I knew we were in trouble and we were. They arrested in our LIVING ROOM for a warrant that was issued on the EXACT same day as the day he paid off his fees. The warrant was for probation violation in the amount of what the balance was, the balance that he had JUST paid off a few days ago. The cops were just as confused as were were, but had to do their job. they handcuffed him and led him to the cruiser. The whole time, I'm shaking and showing the cops the receipt that says "balance $0" and asking eleventybillion questions. The cops said it might be a clerical error, but they still have to take him down. So Dirty leaves our house in a POLICE CAR and I fall into roommates chest crying and shaking. I knew we would get it all figured out but WTF?!?! We did everything we were suppose to do! If there were ever an award for best behavior while on probation, Dirty would have gotten it. I know that sounds bad and like I'm grasping at straws or trying to make him sound good, but I'm not. We both know what he did was/is bad and he took responsibility for his actions. Many times, in fact. What he did was wrong and he is a dumbass for doing it. His words not mine, I just nod my head when he says it ;o)
I got to the ATM after he leaves, go to the jail post bail and wait...and wait...and wait some more. The women at the jail who took my money were COMPLETE bitches to me, by the way. I was scared and confused so I my questions may not have made much sense, but for them to treat me like they did was uncalled for.
The "incident" happened in a different county and that's who issued the warrant, so I asked if I needed to contact that county. "Do I need to call Washington County or fax them this receipt or do you do that? I really have no idea what I'm doing here, I'm a little new to this whole 'bail your husband out of jail thing' *nervous laughter* so what is my next step?" Yeah maybe I shouldn't have made a joke, but the other questions were pretty logical, right? I honestly wasn't trying to be a smartass, I just didn't know what to do. The gal, who looked like a toad, said "don't worry about it, they will get your money and if it is an error you will get your money back". She was SO snotty and rude, I had no idea what to say! The $168 it took to bail Dirty out of jail was the LEAST of my concerns. I just wanted to know what to do!
He calls me about 2 hours later because they had FINALLY released him, without a court date *sigh* he was instructed to call Other County the next day and find out when his court date is and to find out exactly what the warrant is for. He did that and he wasn't in their computers! They have NO record of the warrant, him being arrested and as far as their considered, he's off probation, so not their problem anymore.
He hung up totally confused and not knowing what to do next. You can't get arrested and NOT have a court date. Knowing our luck, he'd accept that and then get arrested a month later. He called back and asked more questions and they finally found him and gave him a court date. Whomever was giving him his court date thought the whole thing stupid because he was at THAT courthouse the SAME day the warrant was issued. Apparently someone made a mistake and didn't cross reference his fees or something, we really have no idea.
All we know that in a few weeks, he has to go to court and...then what? The judge might laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing, but we really have no idea. We do have the receipt for the fees being paid off, even thought they SHOULD have that information in their system. We are not taking any chances here, he is bringing ALL of his paperwork to that appointment.
Clearly we had a great week over here, how about you? Seriously though, this sucks, not only because Dirty made a STUPID choice, but also because apparently nobody knows how to subtract?