My little sister, my beautiful mom, handsome dad, and myself at my older sister's wedding. That was such a fun day and a great memory.
My parents at one of their MANY Halloween parties. Yes, that's my mom grabbing my dad's breast...lol!
She would be almost 70 today. I would probably have sent her flowers or we would be going up there this coming weekend. Instead, I'll bake a cake or something a sing her a little song. I knew this day was coming up, how could I forget? And I just kind of pushed it to the back of my mind, thinking I'll deal with it later. Well, it's later. Here I am sorting through these damn emotions again *sigh* It is better, so that's a plus, right? I'm not scared of falling into the Pit of Despair....improvement my friends. No matter how small these steps are, they are still steps.
As much as I would like to crawl into my bed and just be with my sad thoughts today, I know that isn't best for me. So I'll bake her cake today, shed a tear and move on with my day. Not because I have to, but because I know she would want me to. I know she doesn't want me stewing in my grief, plus it isn't healthy for me. I'll sing her a song and then blow out the candles, wishing I wasn't doing it alone, but knowing she is here still.
I love and miss you more then I can ever put into words. I miss calling you just because. I miss hearing your voice. I miss smelling your "mom scent". But most of all I miss hearing "I love you". I hope you're celebrating with your mom and brother today. Know even though you're missed terribly, you're never forgotten.