Mar 23, 2010

Just For the Shock Value and Because I'm Curious

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
I went out with a couple of friends on St. Patrick's day to celebrate that The Hardest Term Evah was OVER and to drink some green beer, of course. I'll leave out the part where SOMEONE didn't go even though SHE said she would...for the third time in ONE week. (totally gonna kick your ass for that, btw) Of course there were a bunch of youngins there getting all drunk and hitting on us "older big city girls". Those 21 year old boys are just SO damn cute when they think they're line is going to work. They are just so full of confidence, makes me smile and want to ruffle their hair ;o)

Anyway, there was this one kid who was talking about sex (cuz that's what drunk 21 year old kids do when they're trying to impress us, apparently) and I really wanted to pick his brain and ask him some off the wall questions. I LOVE asking questions, I annoy Dirty with my questions all the time, and I really wanted to know how a 21 year old guy gets a chick. My first question was "so how exactly do you pick up a chick in a bar? Do you have a line that works or do you just fly by the seat of your pants?" His answer cracked me up! He said "Sometimes I buy her a drink, but I usually compliment her on her hair or something". Smart guy! That'll definitely get you somewhere if she's willing. The he started talking about his sex techniques and we all rolled our eyes because really? Who are you trying to impress, dude? Oh yeah, He was going on how AMAZING (!) he is in bed, I thought of another question. I asked "what's your feeling on having sex with an older woman? You're only 21 but if you see a woman in her 30's would you think twice about sleeping with her?" This is when his friends came over and tossed in their two cents, they all agreed that sleeping with an older woman is MUCH better then sleeping with a woman their age. Hmmm interesting. They all said "sleeping with an older woman is better because she'll tell you what she wants. Girls our age are fun, but you don't really know if you're doing something they like or not". I'm glad that random older women are giving us a good name!

After that conversation, I was at the bar and an older man came over to talk to me. I use the term "talking" because this man was DRUNK! His first line to me was "what is a girl like you doing here?" Yes, it was a small town bar but what EXACTLY is THAT suppose to mean?! What the hell kind of woman does this guy normally talk too? I said "I'm just here hanging out with my girls and having a few drinks". Then he said "WOW! You're really pretty, you don't belong here!" Ummmm ok? Is he not use to women who use a brush or something? He totally confused me! I said "Where exactly do I belong?" As soon as that sentence came out of my mouth, I wanted to take it back! I figured he'd come back with "my bed" or something lame like that and I would've totally deserved it, too! Thankfully he was too drunk to see his opening and forgot he was talking to me when his buddy came over to take him home. WHEW! Close one.

After that encounter, I really wanted to ask more questions or screw with someone. Seriously, how much fun is it to mess with drunk people?! My next victim came over and asked to buy me a beer. Of course I accepted, wouldn't want to be rude ;o) We were drinking our beers and talking and after about the third round, he dropped his bomb! He asked "hey you want to come home with me?" "No thanks, I have a home of my own" was my reply. To his credit he didn't stop there, which just gave me more fuel for me fire, poor guy didn't know what was coming. He laughed a bit, took another sip of his beer and asked again and my reply was the same. Then he said "Why won't you come home with me? Do you have a man at home?" My response was PRICELESS! I wish I could've take a picture of the look on his face when I said "why do you have to ask questions and make me lie to you? Where having a good time here" lol he had NO idea what to say. His beer must have kicked in because he asked me AGAIN! So I said "there ya go asking questions again and making me lie to you. Why do you do that? We're having a good time talking and you buying me drinks. Why do you have to go and ruin it?" He still didn't know what to say! It took everything I had to not crack up and keep my "serious/innocent" face on. He finally gave up and walked away confused. It didn't stop him from coming over and sitting at our table, but at least he stopped asking me to come home with him. Maybe next time he thinks asking some random woman at the bar to go home with him is a good idea, he'll remember what I said. I doubt it, but I can only hope my smartassness is changing one douche bag at a time.

I need more questions for the next time we go out. Anyone have any burning questions you want me to ask some random drunk person? I'll totally do it! It's really fun, try it some time ;o)

11 friends have commented:

SS on March 23, 2010 at 3:13 PM said...

sounds like fun- you're so funny! I can't wait to get out with the girls some time soon!

WiseGuy on March 23, 2010 at 11:59 PM said...

Rolling on the Floor Laughing!!!

Maybe you should ask them to spell out all the capitals of the world...

Or, ask them to describe their most successful pick-up ever!

CanadianMama on March 24, 2010 at 6:33 AM said...

Oh so fun! I used to do stuff like that all the time when I was a bar star. If anyone would ask me for my number I would give them this one: 867-5309. If they actually figured it out I would give them my real number because it showed some brains.

CanadianMama on March 24, 2010 at 6:35 AM said...

oh, I also used to get the young ones (18 year olds because that is the legal drinkiing age in my province) to do stupid shit for me. Like define the "bases" like what classifies as "first base, second base" etc. They would usually answer with real answers and get really into it and not realize we were messing with them LOL!

Jamie on March 24, 2010 at 10:39 AM said...

What a good time! I SO wish I had been there. Although I am a little sad to be considered an 'older' woman now.

Although when I do get an offer from a younger man, I also want to ruffle their hair and say, "Awww, I could teach you so much!"

Gerardine Baugh on March 24, 2010 at 1:56 PM said...

I knew a guy whose pick up line was the same with every woman. I asked how he got lucky using it, he said odds. If he asks enough women the odds go up and he will get laid.
Beware accepting drinks. Some very strange people out there. Be safe!

Quiet Dreams on March 24, 2010 at 2:58 PM said...

LMAO--Go team older women! Sounds like a fantastic time!

oklaln86 on March 25, 2010 at 7:57 AM said...

You should do a full on psych experiment. It would be hilarious! And probably pretty interesting!

oklaln86 on March 25, 2010 at 8:10 AM said...

We still have Eddie.... just come to Oklahoma and snatch him up! Then we can go to the bar and interview 21 year olds!

tomi on March 28, 2010 at 1:48 AM said...


I loved the part about "coming home with me".

Drunk people are fun to pose questions to ;)

Flying Monkeys on March 29, 2010 at 10:10 AM said...

LOL! You make me wish we had fun places here to go out to. : )

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