I went out with a couple of friends on St. Patrick's day to celebrate that The Hardest Term Evah was OVER and to drink some green beer, of course. I'll leave out the part where SOMEONE didn't go even though SHE said she would...for the third time in ONE week. (totally gonna kick your ass for that, btw) Of course there were a bunch of youngins there getting all drunk and hitting on us "older big city girls". Those 21 year old boys are just SO damn cute when they think they're line is going to work. They are just so full of confidence, makes me smile and want to ruffle their hair ;o)
Anyway, there was this one kid who was talking about sex (cuz that's what drunk 21 year old kids do when they're trying to impress us, apparently) and I really wanted to pick his brain and ask him some off the wall questions. I LOVE asking questions, I annoy Dirty with my questions all the time, and I really wanted to know how a 21 year old guy gets a chick. My first question was "so how exactly do you pick up a chick in a bar? Do you have a line that works or do you just fly by the seat of your pants?" His answer cracked me up! He said "Sometimes I buy her a drink, but I usually compliment her on her hair or something". Smart guy! That'll definitely get you somewhere if she's willing. The he started talking about his sex techniques and we all rolled our eyes because really? Who are you trying to impress, dude? Oh yeah, us...lol He was going on how AMAZING (!) he is in bed, I thought of another question. I asked "what's your feeling on having sex with an older woman? You're only 21 but if you see a woman in her 30's would you think twice about sleeping with her?" This is when his friends came over and tossed in their two cents, they all agreed that sleeping with an older woman is MUCH better then sleeping with a woman their age. Hmmm interesting. They all said "sleeping with an older woman is better because she'll tell you what she wants. Girls our age are fun, but you don't really know if you're doing something they like or not". I'm glad that random older women are giving us a good name!
After that conversation, I was at the bar and an older man came over to talk to me. I use the term "talking" because this man was DRUNK! His first line to me was "what is a girl like you doing here?" Yes, it was a small town bar but what EXACTLY is THAT suppose to mean?! What the hell kind of woman does this guy normally talk too? I said "I'm just here hanging out with my girls and having a few drinks". Then he said "WOW! You're really pretty, you don't belong here!" Ummmm ok? Is he not use to women who use a brush or something? He totally confused me! I said "Where exactly do I belong?" As soon as that sentence came out of my mouth, I wanted to take it back! I figured he'd come back with "my bed" or something lame like that and I would've totally deserved it, too! Thankfully he was too drunk to see his opening and forgot he was talking to me when his buddy came over to take him home. WHEW! Close one.
After that encounter, I really wanted to ask more questions or screw with someone. Seriously, how much fun is it to mess with drunk people?! My next victim came over and asked to buy me a beer. Of course I accepted, wouldn't want to be rude ;o) We were drinking our beers and talking and after about the third round, he dropped his bomb! He asked "hey you want to come home with me?" "No thanks, I have a home of my own" was my reply. To his credit he didn't stop there, which just gave me more fuel for me fire, poor guy didn't know what was coming. He laughed a bit, took another sip of his beer and asked again and my reply was the same. Then he said "Why won't you come home with me? Do you have a man at home?" My response was PRICELESS! I wish I could've take a picture of the look on his face when I said "why do you have to ask questions and make me lie to you? Where having a good time here" lol he had NO idea what to say. His beer must have kicked in because he asked me AGAIN! So I said "there ya go asking questions again and making me lie to you. Why do you do that? We're having a good time talking and you buying me drinks. Why do you have to go and ruin it?" He still didn't know what to say! It took everything I had to not crack up and keep my "serious/innocent" face on. He finally gave up and walked away confused. It didn't stop him from coming over and sitting at our table, but at least he stopped asking me to come home with him. Maybe next time he thinks asking some random woman at the bar to go home with him is a good idea, he'll remember what I said. I doubt it, but I can only hope my smartassness is changing one douche bag at a time.
I need more questions for the next time we go out. Anyone have any burning questions you want me to ask some random drunk person? I'll totally do it! It's really fun, try it some time ;o)