Jul 5, 2009

Nonesense And Stuff

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
It has been SO crazy around here lately! Peaches is here, which explains me lack of computer time. Which has been killing me inside, btw How sad is it that I think about all my lovely ladies and gentlemen when away from my computer? Maybe not sad, but definitely obsessed! I just love all of you and miss not reading you at my leisure.

My blog is very personal to me. My family and my friends know I blog, although they do NOT know my blog name or anything about my blog. Except that I do it and I talk about it and how excited I get when I jump up and down and clap for good news or when I am sad about the bad news. I did once give Husband my blog address but he chose not to read it. It was when I was really upset about mother's day and going through all that grief crap. He wanted to understand better what was going on in my head. But when I gave it to him, he felt "weird" reading it. He said "I want to know what's going on with you, but I'm afraid that if I have the link and read it, you will censor yourself." I wouldn't do it intentionally, because there isn't anything I hide from him, but I might do it unintentionally and that would defeat the purpose of MY blog. So we left it at, if he wants to read something I'm going through, then I'll give him the link. I appreciate his concern and I also appreciate his respect for my privacy. There are two people whom, I see in my real life that read my blog and I am OK with those two people knowing because they "get IT". Those two understand the difference between my "blog life" and my "real life". It's not coming across as it should right now *thanks tot he Jack and diet*, but in my head it makes PERFECT sense. Isn't that the way it always is for me though?

Anyway, life is crazy at the moment! Not in a "I want to run away and never come back" way, but still not as it was. Having Peaches here isn't stressful, per se, but having a guest in my home is. I feel the need to be "on" all the time, when she's here. I feel the need to entertain her, or get up and cook or clean when she is. It's very un-relaxing for me. She has been a very respectful guest, so far. She is up before I am AND she cleans me kitchen! HELL YEAH! She does her own laundry and she cleans up after herself. She is the best house guest EVER! The only part that has been a bit stressful is her kids. They are a bit of an unruly bunch at times. They use to not be and I'm hoping that will change, but as of right now, it's tough when they are here. Today was the first time they've been here since she's moved in, but it was still a bit stressful for me. Those kids can AND will eat me out of house and home! They will eat all my bread INCLUDING the crumbs if allowed. Seriously! I curbed them today and I'm hoping that Peaches will see that and continue to curb them or not bring them over, again. I don't mean to sound bitchy, because I do love those kids. But they can be disrespectful little heathens! It's a work in progress.

Other then that, all is well around these parts. Some friends moved close by and so we were over there for a bit, that was fun! And I've been trying to soak up as much sun as possible because I know it won't last. It's been so nice putting my stereo outside and listening to some Snow Patrol and feeling the warmth of the sun, rather then being SO cold. And then when I get too warm, I just hop into our little pool. Which isn't THAT little. It holds 650 gallons of water and goes to about my thighs, so it's a nice cool off. Then again, I'm a shorty, so it would probably reach the average person's knees. Might not be AS refreshing for other's as it is for me. But if you're in the area and need a bit of a cool off, stop by my house! You can hop on in my pool and we can talk. FUN!

OK, I'm pretty sure I've been as random as I've ever been....I hope everyone is doing well and if I haven't stopped by, it's not because I don't care. I care...A LOT! I just don't have as much time, at the moment. And the sun is melting my brain...in a good way ;o)

19 friends have commented:

WiseGuy on July 5, 2009 at 1:35 AM said...

First let me kick your dirty arse for:

"OK, I'm pretty sure I've been as random as I've ever been....I hope everyone is doing well and if I haven't stopped by, it's not because I don't care. I care...A LOT! I just don't have as much time, at the moment. "

Great now while bruise is turning blue-black, I can commend on adjusting so well with Peaches. I had not figured out that she had kids too. I can imagine them raiding your food rations like hell!

And I think your husband's attitude is awesome...When we are aware that people close to us are READING the blog, we would like to control our sentiments a bit. So, I totally understand that. However, if I were your husband, I would say - uh no honey, write what you want to and then secretly read your blog...that's me!

WiseGuy on July 5, 2009 at 1:36 AM said...

I like me Nonesense! I like like me Nonesense! I like like like me Nonesense!

kate on July 5, 2009 at 4:44 AM said...

Oh, I so hear you about having to be "on" with house guests. Even though our house-sitter was a friend of mine from school, and even though she was there to do a job, NOT as my guest, I still felt like I had to be super-hostess around her. Which I HATE. Well, actually, I love hosting friends for weekends or whatever, but I don't like feeling like I have to be "on" for long periods of time. It's exhausting! Sometimes a girl just needs to walk around in her underwear, or stand in front of the cabinet dipping pretzels into the peanut butter jar and cramming them into her gaping maw. Sometimes a girl needs to sing bad hip-hop at the top of her lungs while wheezing through a few miles of running. Or (god forbid) PASS GAS.

Geez.

I really think my house-sitter didn't get all of that, why H and I wanted to be by ourselves when we came home.

Oh, yeah, and she ate me out of house and home as well. And left me with three hotdogs, a 2 week old bag of salad mix, some shitty fat-free ranch dressing, and a half used jar of alfredo sauce, and tried to act all gracious when she said I was welcome to eat any of it after she was gone. Um, no thank you...

And my family knows that I blog, but does not know the topic. H knows that I blog and is constantly worried that I (like some of the other blogs he's found) am badmouthing my husband. I try desperately to never do that, but I know that one or two times in the past, I have complained about him in such a way that I might be uncomfortable if he read it. So I don't share the address with him, but I do let him know that I would NEVER air our dirty laundry in the way that I sometimes see others doing. I mean, I share about our life, and I share about our frustrations and I try to be as honest as possible, but I also try to temper my feelings about arguments that we have so that I'm not making him out to be a bad person. Because even if he's frustrating sometimes, he's still the best damn husband a girl could wish for, and I need to remember that.

Anyhow. Yeah. I get it. I totally get it. And if I were closer, I'd come take a calf-deep wade in your pool! It's hot here!

'Murgdan' on July 5, 2009 at 5:51 AM said...

My husband is the only person (except my other bloggy friends) who knows me personally AND knows I blog. I've MADE him look before, but he won't won't WILL NOT read it. I'm glad now...but think it's strange.

Then again, he has a whole YouTube world that I care nothing about, and he makes me watch his boring videos...and I guess it's a little like that for us. Just separate interests.

Jenn on July 5, 2009 at 7:06 AM said...

I am ever so glad you found a moment of two to post for I feared you had been whisked away by a tribe of pygmies(is that how you spell that?) Missed ya anyway!

Anyhoo: I know what you mean about feeling like you have to "be on" with Peaches there. It is NOT a restful state to be in!

As for her kids - I can only imagine it's something like my parents preparing for my four nephews to arrive at their house for the day - My mom goes to the grocery store and buys like $100 worth of food and it is literally gone before the day is over!

I am coming right over with a few of my CD's in hand, bathing suit on and we are going to sit in that pool of yours and totally VEG OUT!!

HUGS

Kristin on July 5, 2009 at 7:08 AM said...

I hope you get a chance to really relax soon and that Peaches' kids don't eat you out of house and home.

becomingwhole on July 5, 2009 at 7:31 AM said...

I cannot handle houseguests for an extended period of time. I wish I could, but I can't. I go nuts. Perhaps you can find a way to get some alone time in? This can be difficult when dealing with someone in a fragile state, such as Peaches, I know...

Just glad to hear from you. And your husband is AWESOME. Absolutely you would censor yourself if he were reading, even if you didn't want to or didn't realize it. What a mensch.

Love you, glad to know you're doing ok--get some Dani time if you can. :)

Gabby on July 5, 2009 at 9:47 AM said...

thanks for reading my blog during ICLW. I just read through several posts of yours, and I'll read more later.

I, personally, love the randomness..

you are clearly a beautiful person.

IF Optimist, then... on July 5, 2009 at 12:34 PM said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean about wanting your computer time to catch up on blogs. I look forward to this time every day and when I had to get a bunch of stuff done for the 4th, I missed it. I am also a wreck after about 4 days with house guests. I feel that I would be rude if I just leave them and do other things. I hope that you find a good balance that eases your nerves soon! Then I say it's pool time and margaritas at your place!

TSM Oregon on July 5, 2009 at 2:40 PM said...

You really HAVE been a busy girl!

Personally I have some thoughts about Peaches and the kids, but I'll save them for our next conversation in person. Suffice to say I think you are wonderful and I absolutely LOVE how you are so amazing at establishing your boundaries and keeping them. I need to learn that from you!!

I love that I know you in person and on your blog. It's like sometimes we don't have enough time without all the craziness (and drama!) to really KNOW each other, and reading you gives me just that much more insight into who you are. Plus you impress me so much! Always surprising me with your knowledge and intellect, even though I should know better!

One other thing.

Every time I bring up a certain subject, I want you to know that I wish I hadn't. I want to make sure you know that *I* know I'm doing it and that I know full well it's really not cool. Alas, I am obsessed and you're probably the only person who really knows the whole story. So just tell me to SHUT UP already! :)

Hugs!

We have Angel Wings on July 5, 2009 at 5:34 PM said...

Wow! You are a busy lady. I was wondering how come you never emailed me back - but now I know!

Hopefully soon Peaches will be putting the pieces of her life back together and will be finding a home of her own and then you can turn yourself "off" and relax a bit.

I'm always thinking of you too. I'm always wondering what my blogging beauties are up too. And I'm with you on the clapping, jumping up and down and screaming when something good happens. I also cry when something sad or bad happens.

Sending you ((hugs)) and I hope that you can relax soon. Oh, BTW... I'm on my way over to soak up the rays and cool of in da pool.


T

sara on July 6, 2009 at 8:27 AM said...

Hope you had a great fourth...and are having a good week!

JamieD on July 6, 2009 at 9:17 AM said...

My Hubby knows I blog, but he won't read it either. Probably a good thing. I know I wouldn't censor myself intentionally but who knows what blogging would be like if I knew he was reading behind me.

I am glad you house guest is being a good house guest! It ~is~ hard feeling like the perpetual hostess but don't worry - I know she appreciates all you do and more.

alicia on July 6, 2009 at 10:43 AM said...

i am glad your guest is a pretty good one! boo on the kids thing though, hopefully they won't be around too often!

ohhh I soo want to lounge in the sun, it has been raining here all week! ahh i need more sun!

Sunny on July 6, 2009 at 11:16 AM said...

Whew! Yes, you are busy! Glad it's going well with Peaches, despite the hungry kiddos. :)

My husband reads my blog religiously. Although I started mine as a way to keep in touch with long-distance family and friends, so that makes it different. My parents read it, grandparents, etc. Honestly, I think hubby likes to read it to see what I'm saying about HIM. :)

KimboSue on July 6, 2009 at 1:27 PM said...

Gave hubby my URL too and he read it a few times. I think he has it bookmarked but never comments to me about reading it anymore. Which is good cuz I can rant about him and he not know it! YAY for having no time - at least you're keeping busy right. And I SO feel ya with the heat. My brain is fried from it!

Celia on July 7, 2009 at 4:58 AM said...

My husband reads my blog. I don't censor myself- he already has seen me at my worst.

He maybe reads it once every few months. I like that he sees another part of me.

Fertility Chick on July 7, 2009 at 8:53 PM said...

Random is good! We all should be as lucky as Peaches is to have a friend like you. Amazing!

Like you, my husband knows that I blog, but he has yet to ask to read it/know the link. He knows generally what I'm blogging about...but I might have to clean up my potty mouth if he started reading it! Oh, who am I kidding!?! ;)

Make sure you get some time to relax and take some time for you in the midst of being the hostess with the mostess!

Coffeegrl on July 24, 2009 at 1:37 PM said...

It's just not simple when you've got a bunch of people living together - doesn't matter how much you like each other or get along. Living with my in-laws in Japan showed me that. We all got along fine, but I felt like I was "on" all the time too - even as the "guest". I felt like everyone was watching my parenting skills or judging me for having the second 8 oz. glass of beer (good grief I don't think of myself as a drinker but the family drinks next to nothing so I look like a freakin' lush!)...Hope you all are hangin' in there.

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