*children and death mentioned*
First I would like to thank you all SO much for all the anniversary wishes. We are a boring old couple and did nothing. We had some "couple/adult" time Saturday night and I made an AMAZING lasagna on Sunday, but that was about it. We are boring!
What a week it's been with all the deaths! Each one of them has made me a bit sad. Not sad for me *PROGRESS*, but sad for their families and their friends. I know how difficult the road of grief is and I feel sad for those that have to travel it.
The one that has hit our household the most had been the death of Billy Mays. Neither of the children knew Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, or Michael Jackson. There were stories about Michael Jackson, but the children didn't have any questions and I didn't expect them, either. Nae had laughed at a picture if Michael Jackson she saw on TV and I told her to have some respect. Just because he may have looked funny because of all of his surgeries, he still deserves respect.
The one death that caught our household off guard was Billy's death. We watched his show and he was a very recognizable person for the children. Mostly for Zilla, then for Nae. Nae didn't have any questions, she's old enough to understand death. especially with her Oma *my mom* dying. She knows about death and we've already had many conversations about it. Zilla, on the other hand, was too young to understand that Oma died. We told him, but has he was only almost 3, he really didn't have much clue. He's made a few comments here and there, but on the whole he hasn't experienced death in his short little life.
That all changed when he heard about the death of Billy Mayes. He was very concerned about what was going to happen with his TV show. He said "there won't be a Pitchmen show anymore because the pitchman is dead". He said it very casually and very matter of fact. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to this, I didn't and don't want to push any of my death issues onto him. So I just said "maybe they will have his son or just the other pitchman on there now instead of Billy". He was satisfied with that answer and was OK with it. But all day long, he kept saying something about it. I think he was just trying to wrap his little head around the idea that he won't be seeing this man on TV anymore and that he is not alive. He mentioned he is sad for Billy's children. He also asked what had happened. I gave him the simplest answer I could. I told him (from what I read) "that his wife wasn't able to wake him up after he hit his head the night before, when his plane landed. " He wanted to know if there was a crash and from my knowledge there was not. I'm pretty sure I said the right thing, if such a thing even exists, and Zilla seems to be pretty content with the answers I gave him. So far, there hasn't been anymore questions. That will probably change when he seems something on the TV. For right now, I am happy to keep the television off.
I don't want to avoid the subject, it's going to come up eventually in our lives. We have a relative that is in poor health and when she passes away, we will revisit this topic again. But for right now, I am happy to keep his innocent intact as much as I possibly can. I won't lie to him if he has anymore questions, but for right now, I think I'm going to let him tell me when he is ready.
I believe if he isn't asking the questions, then he isn't ready for the answers. Am I wrong? Has anybody dealt with death and younger children before? Nae is and always has been a lot more mature then Zilla. So this is all new territory for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.