You may no longer not take the blame for your actions. I will no longer say "Oh it's ok, you were busy", or things of that nature. I am going to train people how to treat me!
This has been a long time coming for me. I have bent, made excuses, told myself some aren't just as kind hearted as I, and so on and so forth. Well *pardon me here* but that is pure bullshit! I am pissed off, hurt, I have been betrayed and God dammit I am not holding it in any longer! No more, will I make excuses for being wronged. I will not feel guilty because I needed a friend and my "best friend" was not there and I voiced my feelings. I will no longer fight, argue, talk endlessly about it but I will not trust as freely as I once did.
The damage has been done. I am at a loss as to how to deal with this, but I will. I will pull up my boot straps, get on with my life and know that there are some in this world that will never live up to my standards. My standards aren't even that high. Like I said, it has been a long time coming. I have finally given up on the fact that my friend will change. She won't. She will be who she is and I must accept that or I must break ties. I can't change her, nor would I want to. If this is who she is, then maybe this is for the best. Maybe this is the woman she is becoming. It is a shame because she wasn't like this. All that matters is that my eyes are open now and I am willing to see the situation and act accordingly. I made a mistake by giving so many chances. I can only blame her for part of it. Now, if I let it continue, I may only blame myself. I will NOT take the blame for being a good friend to her and not getting what I want and deserve in return!
"I love you" and "you're the best friend a girl could ever want" will not fix this. If this is meant to be fixed, it will take time. A LONG time. Only time will tell me the future.