Aug 29, 2008

Holy crap..I'm busy!

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
Not only am I a scatter brain, I am the busiest one of all!

We told my in-laws we would house/Nana sit for them while they went away for a few days. Not only did I not realize this was going to be in the middle of "ICLW" week, but that NONE of my passwords and such are saved on my in-laws' computer..yeah I'm dumb I know!

We get here Wednesday and I jump right into "caretaker mode" and get the children, husband, and father in law settled. I go in a see Nana and see if she requires anything. Let me just tell you that there is NOTHING in this world like seeing the look on that woman's face when I say hello to her! Not only does she get so excited that we are here, but she's so overwhelmed with love for us that she starts to get a little emotional. Which makes me want to cry as well. So our first meeting is usually met with tears of joy. Once we get done crying and telling each other that we love each other to pieces, she calms down and goes back to her knitting. She will be 87 in a few months and is a knitting goddess. I wish I could do something, ANYTHING as great as she does with those needles.

As I'm trying to find my groove with Husband's schedule, Nana's and the children, I am slowly going batty. Not in a stressful, "I wish I hadn't said I was going to do this way", but in a "OK where do I start" way. I got my groove, only took me a few hours and all is well. YAY!!

I realized that taking care of Husband's grandmother in a honor for me. I've been in this family for 15 years and never once have I felt like an outsider. They have always welcomed me and made me feel as though I was their daughter. Especially his grandparents. They have done a lot for us and it's a nice family to be in. Nana has never said an unkind word about anyone her whole life. Well that I've heard, anyway. I was told that she got really "mean" when she was in the rehab center, but whenever we come to see her, I NEVER see it. Every time I walk into her room to check up on her or sit and chat, I get nothing but the biggest smile from her. I also get a "I love you so much it hurts" when I leave. She is a beautiful woman, and if it takes me an extra 15 minutes to make sure her night gown isn't wrinkled on her back before she goes to sleep every night, then it is my honor to do that for her.

I was making her bed yesterday and asked her if I had done it right. She instructed me on how to fold her blanket so it doesn't fall off the chair after her nap. She was having a hard time getting her words out, but I stood there the whole time, doing my best to reassure her that it is OK and I will wait. I will fold it exactly how she would like me too. Why? because that woman deserves it! She deserves to have her blankets folded HER way. She deserves to have her tea HER way. Just because she's old and a bit forgetful does not mean that she doesn't remember how she use to fold the blankets at her home.

As I sat there, listening to her tell me a story I had heard a million times. She stops and looks at me and says to me "you never leave me". Oh my, I almost lost it right then and there. She didn't mean it in a mean or unkind way. She wasn't telling me to get lost, she was telling me that she appreciated me sitting there and listening to her and helping her and not getting frustrated with her.

There will come a time when we don't have Nana around anymore. When that day comes I will be heartbroken, but in then end I know she will be happier because she is with her husband and she is no longer stuck in her body that is betraying her so much right now. I also pray that when she does leave our world, she does it in her sleep and it's peaceful. That may sound like a harsh wish, but the last thing this woman needs is to leave this world in pain. She's far to kind hearted for that.

1 friends have commented:

fox confessor on August 30, 2008 at 10:16 AM said...

I met a beautiful elderly woman last night. She was the grandmother of a friend and she was so sweet and spunky. Enjoy your time with Nana!

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