I did stuff today. Lots of stuff, even. I felt a little blah lately and normally when I feel that way I push myself through it. I make myself get over it and tramp all those pesky emotions down. I hate being sad or angry. I love being happy and silly. I don't deal with sadness or anger well. I'm learning to accept these emotions, just as I accept the others. I'm learning that I don't have to have a specific reason to be sad. Something "small" to make me sad and think about my mom or others is ok. I'm also learning that my husband knows me pretty well. He knows when something is wrong before I do. He noticed I was quiet last night before I did. Before I even knew the reason for my quietness. There really wasn't one and that's just fine. I was just having a quiet evening.
So instead of trying to be happy when I'm sad, I gave myself the gift of being sad just because I felt like it. It worked! Today I felt pretty darn good. There are so many changes coming up in our lives and some of them are pretty scary. Most of them are very emotional for me and my husband, but us as a team, can and will get through them. After giving myself the gift of feeling my emotions and not hiding from them, today was a happy day. I did some things that were directly related to the cause of my sadness and it wasn't so bad.
I did some cleaning, made dinner, and ran a few errands. It felt good to be back in the land of the living. I even got to talk to my best friend today. That woman always makes me laugh. I love her as much as I could and in her own way she loves me too. My dinner was a hit! I love it when that happens. Makes me feel like I did something good for my family. Doing their laundry just doesn't have the same effect.
I'd like to welcome and thank all the lovely ladies who've sent comments and hugs my way. Every one is appreciated and read more then once. I'm strange like that ;o)
Here's to many more good days, despite the clouds of sadness that might be lurking at the edges *raises glass*