Dec 12, 2008

Surprise *smack*

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
*Sorry for the lack of quality, but it's uhhh colorful?*

Christmas threw up all over my house. And Husband was the leader of the Christmas puke fest.

We got our tree last weekend. He bought a big beautiful tree! We have high ceilings and we finally able to get that huge tree I've wanted for years. I was so excited when we got it into the house. We got out our decorations and lights and it looked so pretty. It had all white lights and a few ornaments. Not too many, just the right amount. I'd sit on the couch and feel like an adult because my terr was finally a "grown-up" looking tree. Then the lights blew fuses and started to get hot. Instead of trying to burn the house down, we decided to take the lights off and get new ones. We found a really good deal on lights yesterday and bought them. We bought colored lights. As much as I wanted to have my elegant Christmas tree, it would be more fun for Husband and the children to have their Christmas tree. I really wasn't all that upset about it. I just wanted lights on our tree.

We get a few more ornaments and Husband throws some tinsel and garland in the cart. Not the nice looking garland you would use to decorate the house with, but the ugly shit from the 70's. I really wanted to be a Grinch and put my foot down and say "NO!!!!", but his eyes were so lit up with excitement, I just couldn't. So I kept my snide remarks to myself when he out not only the silver garland in the cart, but also the red garland! Really? Red garland, REALLY?! So apparently our Christmas tree is going to look like a white trash tree, but whatever. He's happy and the children will be ecstatic when they come home from school and see the tree. God, I'm such a doormat...

So we get home from buying all the white trash garland and put lights, garland and tinsel on the tree. I suggest that maybe we should put some of the garland around the house because silver AND red garland might look a bit too trashy and overdone. You would have thought I just told him he had the smallest penis in creation, the way his face fell. Of course, I felt like an asshole and said "well maybe it won't look that bad. Lets try it". So we tried it and it didn't look as trashy as I had envisioned. It sure as hell wasn't the elegant tree I had a few days ago, but whatever.

Then the children got home and were SO excited that the tree was all decked out, that all my spoiled brattiness were dissolved away. Dammit. They were happy and Husband was happy, so I let it go. I enjoyed the tree through their eyes and it wasn't bad. It was nice.

THEN, husband went into the garage to look for something and found our box of Christmas ornaments and decorations that we thought were broken and/or got lost in the move. I opened the box and there's stuff from years and years ago. Stuff he brought into our marriage, things I did and things we've acquired since. Nae was pulling ornaments and decorations out left and right. Putting things up all over the house.

I see a few things that my mom gave us, but I was ok with it. We put up the choir boys and trays that my mom gave us. Then...IT happened. I reached into the box and pulled out an ornament that reminded me of my mom. It doesn't necessarily have any sentimental value to it. Such as, she gave it to us for a special occasion. It was just one I remember putting on our tree when I was a kid.

I held the ornament and looked at it and started to cry. I really didn't want to put a damper on our family event, so I went into the bathroom and had a little pity party for my mom by myself. Once I got over it, I put the ornament on the tree. I found a nice place for it, toward the back. I didn't want to stare at it and start crying. this move may come back to bite me in the ass, because I could come upon it unexpectedly and be caught off guard. Guess we'll see. It does look nice though. It's glass ornament with a poinsettia on it, so the lights shine through it.

The rest of the night, I was kind of in a funk. I didn't tell anyone what happened. I just kept this little moment to myself. Husband asked if I was grumpy because I was quiet for the rest of the evening, but I didn't reveal my secret to him. I just told him I wasn't in a bad mood. Which isn't exactly a lie. It's just not exactly the whole truth. I'm feeling better today and I must admit that our tree does look good. It looks better when it's dark. During the day it looks a bit over done, but we did have a good time decorating it. That's all that counts.

2 friends have commented:

Anonymous said...

It was very brave of you to step aside and let them have their Christmas even when you didn't feel like it. I wish I could stand the thought of putting up the tree.

Bec on December 15, 2008 at 5:49 AM said...

Your tree looks gorgeous hon - not trashy at all :)

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