I need a little help, advice, or anything ANYONE has to offer. I'm at my wits end here!
Does anyone know anything about anxiety? Dirty has it and it seems to be getting worse. When he went to our local psychiatrist here in town for his evaluation from his dumbass move, the doctor said he doesn't have an anger problem. Which, we kind of figured, but it was good to get documentation of it. The doc did say that he has anxiety and therapy would be beneficial to him. Which is great, but not great because he put that in his paperwork for the courts and now Dirty HAS to go to therapy. Of course since it's court ordered, insurance won't cover it, which is a moot point, because we don't have insurance anyway. The problem is that Dirty's anxiety has gotten SO much worse as of late and I'm at a loss as to handle it. So therapy will help, but in the mean time, what do I do?
Here's what happened today and how he and I handled it. We went to the phone store to pay the bill and get my line transferred over, as I'm on a different plan than him and Nae. I see a phone I like and so does Dirty, we check around at a few other stores to see if we can find them cheaper and because there were a SHIT TON of people in there. We didn't find any other phone cheaper and went back to the store to buy those phones and get them switched over. So far, so good. It was a bit annoying to run to one end of town and back but not TOO much of a big deal. The guy starts on my phone and apparently isn't aware that we want both phones and starts on Dirty's as he's finishing up on mine, this is where the issues arise. It takes the phone guy FOREVER to get Dirty's phone to do whatever the hell it needs to do to work properly. I tell him I have class at 1:00 and need to leave the store by 12:45. Phone guy suggests I leave Dirty's old cell phone with him so we can work on transferring everything and we'll come back when I get out of class. I think this is a wonderful idea, Dirty on the other hand, not so much *sigh* He does not want phone guy to keep his phone and does not want to take my phone while I'm in class. At this point, Dirty is SUPER pissed off and frustrated and I'm at a loss as to what the hell to do. I go back into the store, get Dirty's phone and tell phone guy, we'll be back around 4 when I get out of class. We go back to the store, wait for an hour and STILL no luck with the phone.
By this time, my dad is bored, Zilla is antsy and Dirty's anxiety is through the roof! Dirty freaks fuck and wants to leave. Just leave! In order to not have a fight in the middle of the parking lot, in front of my dad and Zilla, I just do whatever he wants. I tell the guy we'll be back tomorrow or something and leave. Dirty drops all of us off at Nae's track meet, which we were late for, and goes home. I'm pissed, Dirty is pissed, my dad is confused, and Zilla is oblivious (thank God). We missed all of Nae's events because of this whole phone fiasco and because Dirty wouldn't just listen to me or any type of reason. He was beyond reasoning with at this point, anyway.
After the track meet, we all come home and Dirty is still reeling from everything that went on and I'm pissed off and hurt. I pretty much ignore him and go along with cooking dinner and such, while Dirty takes a nap. He ends up apologizing for his actions and says I did the right thing by just letting him be and cool down. The problem with this solution is that I hate doing it. I hate "pleasing" him until he's done with his freak out. It makes me feel like I'm being submissive to him, which I am SO not. I do, do certain things that would lead others to think the opposite, but I assure you that is not the case.
I was taught to stand up for myself and my rights and appeasing Dirty in this manner makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself. On the other hand if I tell him EXACTLY how I feel at that moment, I'll either say something I don't mean or we'll end up in a huge argument. I need to find some sort of middle ground, not sure if I found it or not; because Dirty just thanked me for letting him be so he can cool off. I guess I did the right thing and I feel fine about it now, but in the moment, I don't feel that way at all.
My questions or plea for advice is; there anything I can do when Dirty has these anxiety attacks or issues? Not sure if it's considered an "attack" per se, but it IS an issue. I think his anxiety being so high this week is the fact that his appointment is Thursday. He might be feeling anxiety BECAUSE of the appointment, but frankly, I have no idea. I know NOTHING about anxiety and have no idea what the hell to do or not to do. Does anyone have anxiety issues as well, or know anyone that does? What is the best course of action for me to take? I want to be supportive and not frustrated, but right now all I'm feeling is frustration and a little resentment. It's not right, I know, but it's how I'm feeling right now.
Any advice is MORE than welcome! Even if you don't know anyone who has anxiety or has dealt with this before, I'll take any thoughts you have. Please! Thank you so much!