Apr 20, 2010

The Queen of Random Strikes Again

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
First of all I need to address something that I've never really touched on before. I did a few times (?) in passing, but I don't think I've ever stated a disclaimer. Sadly, I believe it is time for one. So...here goes...it has been brought to my attention that some of the people I see on a regular basis are reading my blog and Tweets. While it's a free country and the Internet is for everyone, even those that should stay FAR away from the World Wide Web, this space here is MINE. If you know me in real life and I did not give you the URL to my blog, you may not question me on what you read here. I use this space for support from my Bloggy Gals and to give support. I also use this place to get things out of my head so I don't take anything I say personally. I won't bash you, but I might mention you as it pertains to me and my life. If you don't like what you read, you may click that cute little red 'X' over there in the corner.
Alright, now that I got that out of the way, time for some randomness *throws confetti*
Here's a question for ya'll...Dirty and I got new phones WITH Internet capabilities *WEEEE* and while I use mine for cool stuff like, getting cool new themes and checking FaceBook (ya know, important stuff) Dirty uses his for...other things. It doesn't bother me that he looks at "stuff"; (I'm not trying to be cute or coy by using code, I'd just rather my blog not come up when teenage boys search for something to look at when they're cleaning their weapons) I actually find that it improves our intimate time. What kind has got me is that he wants me to share my fantasies with him, like every one of them. Ummm no thank you, those are mine! Since he is in overdrive, he wants both of to be in overdrive and wants to know what is going on in my head. I am thankful that after almost 17 years we still finds me attractive and wants to share things with me, but sometimes, the things that go on in my head, are just for me. I did end up telling him a few things and it did work out to my benefit ;o) but somethings I'd rather keep to myself. Am I being selfish or do a lot of women have certain fantasies they like to keep to themselves? I did ask one friend and she agreed with me, but that's the only one I've asked. So I'm asking YOU, should I divulge everything or keep somethings to myself?

NEXT! I did something on Saturday I thought I would NEVER do! I bought a pair of "high end" jeans *hangs head in shame* I blame Kristin for this. Why? Because she posted a link for THIS company and I have been stalking and drooling over those jeans ever since. I do know a few girls who swear by these jeans but I refuse to pay over $100 for a pair of jeans. I'm cheap, can't help it. I really have no need for these jeans, other then I need something to cover my bottom  half when I'm out in public. The jeans I got at another store work just fine for this purpose, but when I walked into the boutique down the street from my house, I fell in love. The saleswoman was so kind to me and never pressured me once. I don't know what came over me but I walked out of that store with a pair of jeans that are very flattering, but also cost more than I have ever spent on a pair of jeans.

When I came home, I sent both Heather and Ellen a text telling them about my bout of insanity. Not to brag, mind you, but to get yelled at so I'd take them back. They did not do that. Ellen wanted pictures, so I obliged and she convinced me to take the tags off and keep em! That is exactly what I did! I took the tags off, threw em in the garbage so I can't return them and OWNED the fact that I just bought these jeans. So I am a proud owner of a fancy new pair of jeans. All I have to say is that they DAMN well better last a long time, or I will be PISSED! I will not feel guilty or ashamed of my purchase any longer. I may not have "deserved" these jeans, but I am in a place where I am able to buy them and splurge, so why not? It's been years since I've splurged on myself and the past few months I've done some splurging and it feels really great! I forgot how much I enjoy doing things just for myself. Going to school is not only for me, but for my family as well. My laptop was for school. My jeans and itouch are for me and that is OK!

NEXT! We had conferences for Zilla last week and he is doing well. Not "great" but he's keeping up. He still needs some extra help on math and his handwriting, but I'm proud of him for leveling up as much as he has in his reading. He's reading level 13 books now and we're hoping to get him at 20 by the end of the year. If not, he'll be damn close! His teacher did suggest summer school for him. Not because he is behind, but because he is "at level" and could use an extra push. My heart sank when she suggested that, but after talking to Dirty I don't feel that way anymore. When she told me about this, I had already planned that he was going to go because she said he needed to go. I felt I didn't have a choice, mommy guilt and all. Once I talked to Dirty, I reclaimed my power as Zilla's mother. I don't think that summer school is right for him. Yes it might give him an advantage, but at what cost? He'll miss part of his summer vacation and I don't have the heart to do that to him. He isn't like Nae who LOVES school, he would be miserable every second of every day. Summer time is suppose to be "fun time", not "boring time". Plus if we get that house, he won't be there to help us with painting and such. It may seem like a silly reason, but we really want to do things as a family with this house. I don't want him missing out on any of it. As Zilla's mom, I am saying "no thank you" to summer school and I know this is the right choice.

NEXT! The house *sigh* Our Realtor is an idiot and how she's been selling house for 15 years, is beyond me! She knew nothing about the credit we get if the contract is signed before April 30th and she showed us a house that wouldn't work for us at all! When we told her it wouldn't work, she kept trying to sell it to us! My dad, Dirty and myself were all standing outside talking while she was inside telling my aunt and uncle all the "great" things about the house. We totally checked out within five minutes of seeing the house because we knew it wouldn't work for us. The house we put an offer on, is still in the works. We're in escrow...again, but the last time we were in escrow there were complications with inspection. I'm hoping that everything has been resolved and we will sail through escrow, get the contract signed by the end of April and take possession in mid May. I'm trying to be low key about it, but I am really really for really reals SO excited about it! I'm keeping my excitement in check, but I am praying this is IT.It just seems like the perfect house for all of us. *crossing fingers*

And that is all! Thank you all SO much for the kind words about my mom's picture and my Omi's passing. Every word helped me stay above the tide that was trying to pull me down. I appreciate your help and support.

14 friends have commented:

Anonymous said...

You SO DESERVE the jeans. Moms always put themselves on the bottom of the list when it comes to getting NICE things. So shake your booty.

And no, I don't tell hubby my "private" thoughts - alas, it wouldn't get me anywhere and he's never asked anyway.

Anonymous said...

You SO DESERVE the jeans. Moms always put themselves on the bottom of the list when it comes to getting NICE things. So shake your booty.

And no, I don't tell hubby my "private" thoughts - alas, it wouldn't get me anywhere and he's never asked anyway.

kimbosue on April 20, 2010 at 1:53 PM said...

BOO to IRL peeps finding you online! Talk about invasion of privacy. And obviously they are not keeping it on the DL either, huh? Blech. When I started my 1st blog, I sent the link to EVERYBODY. When I realized I wanted to talk about some of those peeps, I started a new one and pwp some of the posts... and didn't send the link out.

You go with your bad ass jeans! Can we see too?

YAY for Zilla!

And I definitely keep some things to myself, away from the hubs.

Alana on April 20, 2010 at 1:58 PM said...

WOOHOO for new jeans just for YOU! I totally relate to the mama-guilt....it is hard to spend $$$ on ourselves, when we feel like we oculd spend it on our families instead. But you really DO deserve something for YOU now and then!

Definite NO on telling Dirty ALL of your thoughts and fantasies... I'm with you, they are YOUR thoughts for a reason. ;)

Big bummer that people you know irl are reading your blog. Sighs.

YAY for Zilla's reading progress, how wonderful!

And as a mama and a teacher----BOO for summer school! I'm with you. Summer is family time, fun time, time for kids to re-energize and ramp up for the next school year. Not to mention time for building memories he'll have FOREVER. He can catch up (if needed) next school year. Much of the first month of school is review anyway, to get all kids back on board. He'll be fine! :)


CanadianMama on April 20, 2010 at 2:56 PM said...

I'm so glad you kept the jeans! I only buy designer jeans now (although I typically try them on in the store and then find them on ebay or online for cheaper). i find they just fint better and I'm more likely to wear them and get more use out of them in the long run. I also find that DKNY fit my body well and they are kind of the bargain of designer. Although I have some Sevens and i LOVE them. I don't have any Joe - are the the best or what!!

Ps. so excited for the house - finger's crossed for you - eek - so exciting!!!!

Dolli-Mama on April 20, 2010 at 3:02 PM said...

Yeah for the new jeans!
Yeah for Zilla! I think summer school stinks too, but I see advantages to continueing the learning over the summer. Maybe there is a way you guys could help him improve his school work while he still had the summer off. Like a once a week class or a science camp? I don't know. But summer school sucks.
And "No" to telling hubby private thoughts, unless you think it will help you out. The rest, keep to yourself! Yeah to 17 years togther! You go girl!

Kristin on April 20, 2010 at 3:42 PM said...

Now come on D...if you are going to place the blame on me, the least you could do is call me to tell me about it in person. You know where my facebook page is and the info is there...LOL!

That said, I am quite proud of my enabling talent!

Nope, I don't share each and every fantasy.

You are his mom and it's definitely your decision.

Good luck with the house.

My name is Andy. on April 20, 2010 at 3:55 PM said...

Great update!

Stick with your Mummy instinct and have a great summer with Zilla!

And enjoy the jeans. It's nice to treat yourself to something like that sometime.

tomi on April 20, 2010 at 4:55 PM said...

1) Yay for new jeans!!

2) Boo on the realtor. Sometimes I really have no idea how they can survive in the industry being ditzes (some not all)

3)*hugs* with regards to Zilla and summer school. Sometimes kids just bloom later, like I did :)

And about fantasies... erm no I don't share all of them with DH. Naughty Dirty ;)

Time for coffee.. Momo's going to wake soon O_o


SS on April 20, 2010 at 6:30 PM said...

let's see those jeans, please?

Quiet Dreams on April 21, 2010 at 3:38 PM said...

I also want to see the jeans that you DESERVE. ;)

And you should DEFINITELY keep at least a few thoughts to yourself. We all need our own space, even if it's in our head.

kate on April 22, 2010 at 6:52 AM said...

Hmm. I don't share much "fantasy"-wise with H. Unless it involves him and some specific, ahem, quality of his, I leave it be. And I ask him to do the same. Fantasy is wonderful and natural and lovely and a beautiful part of a healthy physical relationship. But when you begin to say, "Oh, I dream of three football players fighting over me" (or some such) when your husband is just an average built guy, he starts to think that he isn't good enough, even though that's not what you're saying at all. So, for me, our rule is that as long as it's something that we can fulfill with each other, it's safe to share. Otherwise, keep it in your head where it belongs. Oh, and there's NEVER any pressure to share, because pressure doesn't foster intimacy or trust with us. Encouragement, yes, but the second that it becomes clear that one of us isn't comfortable, all "encouragement" stops.

Thus endeth my essay on the role of fantasy in marital relations. Amen.

Um, yeah. It's good to splurge sometimes. Enjoy your purchase. I think a good pair of jeans are an essential wardrobe element, so if you think about the $50-whatever you would have spent on 2-3 other pairs, trying to find the perfect fit, you've actually come out ahead by just indulging on one pair, right?

I'm with you on summer being a time to relax. If it's really important to give him the extra boost, you could consider doing a "home school light" kind of thing where you set a goal of how many books he wants to read this summer and then reward him for hitting different milestones. This keeps him reading and learning, but also gives him the freedom to choose to read or not without it being in a formal environment. And he also gets to choose the topics of the books, so if he's into the outdoors (for example) you could find fiction books that feature a kid who is going camping, or a non-fiction book that talks about geology or forestry or something. I think what I mean is that with a little creativity, you can possibly meet the need to boost his school skills without ruining his summer.

And best of luck with your house!! I think every so often about buying a new house, but then I think about trying to sell this one and move and redo so much stuff, and I just think, 'forget it!' And your realtor would piss me off. I'd smack her in the head and just move on to a new one! You are the buyer, not your aunt and uncle!

Jamie on April 28, 2010 at 10:39 AM said...

I'm all about a pair of jeans that come in the 'booty fit'!!

I never tell Hubby all of my fantasies. I find that he tries, but usually misinterprets them thereby ruining them for me. Part of what makes a fantasy is keeping it in your head, right?

Aunt Becky on April 30, 2010 at 3:25 PM said...

Keep the jeans. BUY nice clothes for yourself. YES! YES! YES!

Post a Comment


Life induces thoughts, Copyright © 2010 Designed by Ipietoon Blogger Template Sponsored by Online Shop Vector by Artshare - Blogger Template