Apr 4, 2010

She Helped Heal My Heart

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
And she has NO idea.

Saturday when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sulk but was unable to do because I had A LOT of stuff to do, my heart was healed a little bit. Zilla had a birthday party to go to and because I'm over protective, I went with him. The party was for a little girl in his class and I may have gone overboard buying her princess(!) toys, but we had a great time. We went to the park, hunted for eggs, hit a pinata, got muddy, and had a great time. We ended up at the Birthday Girl's house for cake and ice cream. The kids all ran off and I was left in the front room with about 5 adults I had never met in my life. We made small talk and eventually I got a little bit more comfortable with them.

There was a 2 year old little girl there who stole my heart and healed it at the same time. She has Downs Syndrome and took a liking to me! I was so excited, it took everything I had not to scoop her up and smother her with kisses. We played with the remotes, play dough and she kept signing "more play" to me when I wasn't playing with what she wanted me to play with.

I asked her mom how she felt about strangers before I made my move because she looked a bit overwhelmed when they walked in the door. Although, I can't blame her, I was overwhelmed watching all those 6 and 7 year olds running around the house, too! Her mom said it takes time for her to warm up to strangers but assured me, I wouldn't freak her out if I said hello or played with her. That was all I needed and I sat on the floor across from the coffee table from her and showed her a toy. Eventually she made her way into my lap and I was so honored, I wanted to cry. Her mom said she never does that and both she and her husband were very surprised. I was just so happy to have this beautiful child sitting in my lap, that I didn't care that she never does this.

Addison let me play with her for about 2 hours. It was such an amazing 2 hours, I don't think I'll forget them for the rest of my life. She even let me give her a high five! For those 2 hours, I didn't think about my Omi passing away, I didn't think that my dad has to go through this another time, all I did was immerse myself in this beautiful soul.

I came home so happy and told Dirty and Roomie about it. Dirty said I was explaining it all wrong, apparently I was making it sound like someone who just got to play with a puppy. Which wasn't my intention at all, obviously, I was just filled with such peace and happiness, I had to tell them. It's taken me a few days to process these feelings, but I think I've got it.

Addison healed my heart. She might have sensed that I needed some sweet baby time or she just wanted to play, either way, I owe Addison so much. What she did for me on Saturday is exactly what I needed.

12 friends have commented:

Kristin on April 5, 2010 at 6:38 AM said...

I think you found your little angel right here on earth.

WiseGuy on April 5, 2010 at 7:00 AM said...

Way to go, Addison!

And I am so happy you shared such bliss.

That reminds me of petting a dog of an old woman who died. Her body had just been taken away for the cremation, and the poor fellow was just walking aimlessly around the gathering area. I rubbed his head, and whenever I would let go, he would paw me to do it again....

Even today when we visit their house, the dog recognizes me, and I always give him a good rub.

These are moments that pass silently, often with little notice from the world, but they are profound in a way, that if it was to be described, it would never really be.

So happy for you.

Alana on April 5, 2010 at 7:01 AM said...

Awww, what a beautiful little sweetie! I'm glad she helped you to "heal" a bit.

Mrs. Gamgee on April 5, 2010 at 7:23 AM said...

There is some magic when a sweet soul connects with a hurting soul. What a precious gift!

Quiet Dreams on April 5, 2010 at 8:21 AM said...

I love this story.
Her mom (and others) probably thought that it was YOU who was doing the giving.

Amaprincess on April 5, 2010 at 3:12 PM said...

Aww sweet precious little addison! Kids just have those healing features =)

SassyCupcakes on April 6, 2010 at 3:45 AM said...

This is so sweet. Little kids are like fountains of hope.

There's an analogy we used in our foster care training where you think of a kid in care as a broken empty vase. You can pour marbles into the vase but they just flow out the cracks. Over time and with love and support the vase or their souls heal, but we all need our vases topped up with marbles or positive energy from time to time. It's a weird analogy but it does work. It sounds like this little girl helped your vase start overflowing which can only be a good thing. :)

kimbosue on April 6, 2010 at 8:22 AM said...

What a sweet story about a sweet girl!

CanadianMama on April 6, 2010 at 9:56 AM said...

Aww, this is so sweet! Glad you had a "helper" :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Kristin, you found your angel. Wonderful post! You were in the moment and she (Addison) helped you play in it.
Have a great week!

Mischief Maker on April 7, 2010 at 12:19 PM said...

I was terribly behind on reading your posts! You've had so much going on. Love you miss you!

natalie on April 8, 2010 at 8:26 AM said...

Aw, so sweet! Children are absolute angels :)

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