May 5, 2009
That *picture is to show you exactly how much I am thankful for you! Each petal is a thank you for each and every one of you.
I know, I'm going to fumble this. I know there is no way I could thank ALL of you for your support. You gently held me up so I could crawl out of that hole I was in. I'm not sure if I'm ALL the way out of it, but I know I'm a lot closer then I was. You all took such good care of me when I was at a very low, low. It almost feels as though I am cheating or I don't deserve it because my mom has been gone for three years now. I know that my heart will hurt forever and there will always be a missing part of my soul, but it's not like it happened yesterday. I can't live my life saying "I should have dealt with this when she passed" and I'm really trying not to, BUT..I really wish I would have. Anyway, this is where I'm at. The important thing is that I'm dealing with this NOW *as best as I can* and I have every single one of you to thank for that. I received emails, comments, and text messages filled with support, love and the most kindest heartfelt words. I read them and I cried. I read them and I felt loved. I read them and I knew I wasn't alone. Even if it was a few words and a hug or a paragraph, they meant so much to me. I am humbled by you and I thank you so much. I hope I am able to give you half the support you've given me. I know it isn't "perfect", but honestly without you..I don't even want to know where I would be.
For any one's who's blog I have visited in the past few days and have left a comment that left you wondering "WTF is she thinking/saying?!" Sorry about that. for some reason, my ability to speak through my fingers has left my body. I'm the first to admit that I am less then eloquent, but usually I can type a heartfelt comment. Every time I comment, I mean what I say. But lately, my comments have been less then stellar. If I've offended anyone with a comment or it makes NO sense whatsoever, please accept my apologies. I don't mean to offend, nor do I want to spew nonsense.
I am slowly working my way back to where I was before, but sometimes, it proves to be a bit more difficult then I thought. I am almost there. I'm still feeling pretty raw and fragile. Although, I am accepting these feelings and not rushing myself to be "whole". I can't do that, it doesn't work, anyway. I'm guessing that Monday will be the start of a better week.
Thank you! ((((HUGS))))
* image props