May 14, 2009

Taking Care of Me

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
As soon as Monday hit, I felt refreshed! I woke up to my alarm and felt good. No more gloom and doom. I know it was all psychosomatic, but I'm OK with that. As long as I can stop feeling like I'm in some dark place.

Husband and I started working out again. We did weights and went for a jog. Did you know when you take a month off from working out because your depressed and then sick it's HARD to get back into IT? Really, it is! The weights were fine, but jogging? Not so much! It took everything I had to finish my mile. I did it! But it was harder. THEN it dawned on me that husband increased our pace. I'm convinced he's trying to kill me. He must think I have some fancy life insurance policy. Poor guy doesn't realize how much laundry he'll have to do once he offs me. And dinner..jokes on him! ;o)

Working out is going well. I'm less sore today then I was the days before. YAY for progress! The one thing Id like to find a solution of is my friends needing me for every. little. thing.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I really do! They are a HUGE part of my life. They've helped me when I needed it and when I allowed them to help me. They've come running when I called or backed off when I tell them too. But sometimes, I just can't fix their problems. It's not that I don't care, I do care. I just don't have the energy to care right now. I know that's mean and I probably owe them better, but right now, that's all I've got. I just can't care about you and your boyfriend right now. I can't care that your schedule changed and you MUST stay home and work all day long. I can't care that your bored and you want to go do something, but don't have enough money to go do what you want to do. I can't listen to you whine how your sick and you can barley get out of bed and your boyfriend chose right now to buy you a puppy. I would love to have your problems be my problems, but right now, I can't do that for you.

There is just too much sadness in life right now to care about the small stuff. There have been too many babies taken from their parents. There have been too many negative tests to care about your schedule change. I am still feeling pretty fragile and raw, better then I was last week, but not totally "me".

I'm sure this is all PMS induced, but right now...it's the best I can do. I care about the bigger things right now, not the small ones. Give me some time, friends and I'll care again. Promise!

Sorry for the complete and total random and bitchiness of this post. KISSES!

21 friends have commented:

Jenn on May 14, 2009 at 9:51 AM said...

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

GeekByMarriage on May 14, 2009 at 9:51 AM said...

Don't say it's PMS induced! We're on the same cycle and I am not ready for that shit again!

Deathstar on May 14, 2009 at 10:05 AM said...

Oh, I am so premenstrual right now, it's not funny. And you're totally making me feel guilty about not working out. Nothing wrong with taking some time out for yourself, they'll still be there with the same complaints to talk about later. Trust me.

natalie on May 14, 2009 at 10:05 AM said...

Everyone needs a break every now and then...from everything. Try not to be hard on yourself about not being able to 'fix' their problems. You can only do so much :)

sunflowerchilde on May 14, 2009 at 10:10 AM said...

Ha! I sometimes wish I could disappear for a month at least so my husband will finally realize how much I do for him. Hopefully your hubby figures it out before he kills you with exercise =)

Sorry you're having such a hard time, I'm sure your friends will understand. Hope you're feeling better soon.

SS on May 14, 2009 at 10:21 AM said...

I've been terribly bitchy this week, so I can look past your momentarily lapse in firned love- ha ha! Glad to see you're on the mend, and working out will definitely make you feel better-

Kristin on May 14, 2009 at 10:37 AM said...

{{{Hugs}}}

Deb on May 14, 2009 at 10:42 AM said...

True friends understand!

And I hate starting to work out after a break. It's like I'd never worked out before...no looking forward to when I start back again after a hmmmm...my daughter is 4 months..so four months, Argh!

Mugsy on May 14, 2009 at 11:21 AM said...

I was bad after our failed IVF and it took my husband awhile to get me back to the gym. This week he has fixed it so that I can't raise my arms above my head. At any rate...you take care of you first. The end.

TSMOregon on May 14, 2009 at 1:03 PM said...

It isn't PMS or unreasonable...it's YOUR feelings they are REAL! Oh, girl...I wish I could reach through this computer (or gee, I don't know, walk down the street?) and give you a big hug!

Let me know when you're ready for company.

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL on May 14, 2009 at 1:23 PM said...

Awww...sending big (((hugs))) your way!

cysteract on May 14, 2009 at 1:48 PM said...

Take care of you first ..your friends will understand.

You are totally guilt tripping me into a reunion with my Wii Fit WTG you on the working out!

HUGS!

seussgirl on May 14, 2009 at 3:12 PM said...

Yey for working out! I'm hoping I have the discipline to start that again after #3 gets here. I feel so much better when I'm fit!
And everyone needs a break from their friends now and then. :)

Serendipity on May 15, 2009 at 1:27 AM said...

I'm sure your friends understand that you need to take care of yourself at the moment. I'm gald you're feeling better and more yourself, it takes time but you seem to have the right attitude :).

I *hate* jogging with a passion, I don't mind any other kind of working out but jogging is ick so I'm very impressed that you even got out there, let alone ran a mile!

Aunt Becky on May 15, 2009 at 12:23 PM said...

I'm itching to get back into working out. One of these days when my body stops falling apart, I tell you...

CappyPrincess on May 15, 2009 at 2:26 PM said...

Hugs! That's it. Just hugs.

JamieD on May 15, 2009 at 2:58 PM said...

You are so right - it is terribly hard getting back on the exercise wagon again. But I know that once you're on it, it will feel sooo good and be very therapeutic.

Your title says it all - TAKE CARE OF YOU right now. Your friends will still be there.

WiseGuy on May 16, 2009 at 8:07 AM said...

Dear Ding Dong Ding D, I am awfully behind in catching up on my regular reads right now, so if I sound like a broken record, please forgive me for it....Dear D, please let me also remember your mother with you. I missed the past Show and Tell. And I know that mothers are so special. Her departure is very recent and I know that the wound is very raw...nothing will take away the pain. I hope that over the coming days, you will begin to remember that your mother is still with you in spirit and the last thing she would want is you to shed a tear, when the cause is that deep memory of hers.

I am glad you went to work out. Yes, you are correct, it takes a while to get back into the groove.... Take your time...it seems, your DH is a solid anchor in your life. Good Good Good. Take Care and be good.

Bec on May 17, 2009 at 5:42 AM said...

Totally get it hon. Good on you for getting out an exercising, and for finishing the mile!

Parenthood For Me on May 17, 2009 at 12:24 PM said...

That is so not bitchiness Dani.

becomingwhole on May 20, 2009 at 2:50 PM said...

ditto what parenthood for me said....soooo not bitchiness :)

Learning to take care of yourself is the most important lesson in life, I think. It is much easier to learn to take care of others.

Post a Comment

 

Life induces thoughts, Copyright © 2010 Designed by Ipietoon Blogger Template Sponsored by Online Shop Vector by Artshare - Blogger Template