Feb 11, 2009

Freedom to Marry: Something New

Musings of A Beautiful Mess

Today is my second entry during Freedom to Marry week. There are more bloggers doing this and you should check them out.

Since, Husband and I rarely get gifts for each other, I'll tell you what he has been doing for me lately.

When he was working, I wold do all the household/children duties. We made this "deal" when we were pregnant with Nae. Whoever was not working outside the home, does the house "stuff". It's worked out for us. He always did contribute with bathing, diapering, feeding, and picking up children from daycare or school. But the majority of it fell onto my shoulders. I got use to doing it all, and it just became habit, of sorts. I just assume things wouldn't change when he got laid off. I didn't really think about it, I just kind of went with the flow.

I was asked by some friends if I wanted to gout Friday night. I declined because Zilla was sick and I didn't see the need to go out, when he was sick. I didn't talk to Husband about it, I just told my friends I would rather stay home. I wasn't disappointed or anything. Children get sick, nothing we can do about it. If I thought about it in more detail, I would have realized that Husband is MORE then capable of taking care of a 5 year old with a cold.

After Zilla went to be, Husband asked why I didn't go out with everyone. I told him my reasons and he told me there was no need for me to do everything now that he isn't working. It dawned on me, that he was right. He is home now and I don't have to worry about the time he has to get up in the mornings, or if he has to work a weekend or not. I have a freedom to go out on any night of the week, if I so choose.

After that conversation, I've been asking for his help more. Granted, this was like 3 days ago, but that's a big step for me. I don't ask for help very often. I realize, now that he is able to take on more of the responsibilities that he wasn't able to due to his work schedule.

Every time we get through something major or minor, such as this, it makes me realize what type of relationship we have. it's very open, honest, dirty, pretty, but most of all..it works for us.

5 friends have commented:

Marie on February 11, 2009 at 11:22 AM said...

That is beautiful.

Kristin on February 11, 2009 at 1:54 PM said...


In Due Time on February 11, 2009 at 8:39 PM said...

That's awesome.

NYEBoy actually did the dishes for me the other day because I whined that he wasn't putting them in the dishwasher. I don't mind doing the cleaning, but come on, it's less than a foot away, bend your ass down! LOL

Of course after he did that he brought it up five times that day to make sure I was aware. (It shouldn't count if you brag about it, honey!)

Kristin on February 12, 2009 at 8:04 AM said...

I nominated you for an award on my blog. Stop by and pick it up.

alicia on February 12, 2009 at 10:50 AM said...

hey! ok this is going to sound crazy and I really just am a totally sucky friend, but I totally didn't realize your blog wasn't on my reader!?! I don't know how that happened! You comment on like all my posts and you give me the nicest comment today and I kinda clued in and was liek, I totally don't remember what her blog looks like? and I looked for it and was like DUH not on your reader stupid alicia. SOOOO you have been added! I suck so much, I am sorry.

anyways, about your post! I am the same way with housework. I do it ALL! Keith and I both work full time so you think there would be a little more sharing going on, but I am ocd clean freak, so I jsut do it. But lately with this pregnancy tiredness attacking I can't keep up. So a week ago I asked him jsut to tidy up more. Instead of leaving your underwear on the bathroom floor, put it in the hamper. dishes in dishwashers, see cat poo pick it up etc. So he did that this last week, and wow what a difference it made when I did my weekly cleaning ritual on Wed! It is so awesome when they help out hey?

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