Sep 23, 2008

Conversations with Husband

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
Husband and I are VERY strange. We toss insults at each other in a loving fashion A LOT. His mom always tells us to get a long and behave. We hardly ever fight, but when we do...oh it is less then pretty.

The other day he was playing his computer game *computer geek* and he told me he named his character after me *lame*

Him: Hey hon, I named my new character after you!

Me: You did? What ya name her? Princess?

Him: No, I named her "slut face" *laughing his ass off*

Me: *laughing my ass off* Seriously, did you?! And if so, did you tell everyone you named her after me, cause that would be REALLY funny!?

Him: No I didn't really name her that, but your right, that would be funny.

I still don't know what his character's name is, but I got a good laugh out of that one.

THEN, this morning...I was texting a friend and he had mentioned he hadn't had his coffee yet and it was almost 9 in the morning! Husband asked what I was gasping at...

Him: What's so shocking over there? Who ya texting?

Me: Eric and he said he hasn't had any coffee yet this morning, but he IS in fact a coffee drinker. I don't get it!

Him: *realizes this isn't an important conversation and I'm sure regrets even asking* Maybe he doesn't feel like having coffee yet.

Me: *appalled* How can you NOT drink coffee if you're a coffee drinker, I don't understand! Coffee is a beautiful and amazing thing. I don't see how anyone can live without it.

Him: Just like you

Me: *laughing really loud* Awww that was sweet....*still laughing*

Him: I know, thought ya might like that one. I just scored brownie points.

Me: No you didn't, you just made up for bugging the crap out of me last night before we went to bed

Him: Dammit...Am I EVER going to be in the positive side of the brownie point scale?

Me: Nope, you fail!

There are SO many more insulting conversations we have, but I don't have time to type them all out and I'm betting nobody would want to read about them. Our marriage is unconventional to say the least, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We are crazy, crass, and fully in love with each other. It is good times. However come next week after he gets laid off and is home 24-freakin-7 I might need a place to escape. If you see a short woman with unruly hair walking up your walk, it is me in DIRE need of a break from my husband. Please let me in....

10 friends have commented:

Aunt Becky on September 23, 2008 at 10:12 AM said...

Dave calls me "assh*le" and I call him "fuckf*ce" as terms of endearment. I understand completely.

Peachy on September 23, 2008 at 12:54 PM said...

That is too funny. I am sorry about your husband getting laid off!
My husband says our pugs call us fatass and f*ckface. I am not sure which one I am on most days.


~Jess on September 23, 2008 at 4:33 PM said...

We call each other "fart-face" "doodie-head" "wench" "wanker" but that's about as "mean" as we go.

Sorry your husband is getting laid off.


kccat on September 23, 2008 at 5:09 PM said...

You are too funny. You and your husband sound a lot like my hubby and I. We do the same kind of things. Great post.


MoxieMamaKC on September 23, 2008 at 8:11 PM said...

I'm glad it's not just us. People look at me weird when we call each other Poophead (term of endearment, truly). Sorry to hear about your husband, but I'm sure it will somehow turn out ok in the end. (See, I'm getting more Pollyanna like!)

Mrs Woggie on September 23, 2008 at 8:47 PM said...

That is fantastic!! It is great that you and your hubby can have digs at each other in good fun!

Here from ICLW.

Cece on September 24, 2008 at 5:38 AM said...

We tease each other all the time - I wouldn't want it any other way.

And for the possibility of him being home 24X7 - that happened to one of my girlfriends, and she tolsd me in total frustration one day 'I married him for life, not for LUNCH!'. Cracked me up.

Marie on September 24, 2008 at 9:40 AM said...

Yep I gotz me a weirdo marriage too. I was all pissy last night and I was all "honey I need a hug" he said "I wouldn't hug you if you paid me right now". I just laughed because ,really, if he was acting like I was I would have probably threw something at him.

I hope you don't have to have a house husband but if you do my door is open and the coffee post is full...FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

Stephanie, Phil, Kayla, Logan & Alex on September 24, 2008 at 9:43 AM said...

That is hilarious! Sounds just like the conversations between my husband and I. Good to know we're not alone.


Kristin on September 24, 2008 at 2:19 PM said...

ROFL...y'all sound like my hubby and me.

ICLW (but you know I'd come here anyway:)

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