Sep 4, 2008

Judgmental people piss me off!

Musings of A Beautiful Mess

Let me set the stage here for ya....


Last week, I went out with a few friends. School was starting soon and I wasn't going to have the opportunity go out as much as I was able to the summer. So, this was my last hurrah so to speak. Husband gets home around 11 pm and my friends pick me up and we head off to her house. All is well at home, kids are good to go, husband is home and I am able to have some "me time".

We get to my friend's house, sat around talked, laughed had a great time. One of her friends, whom I've met one time was on leave from the Navy and we were all talking. We decide to go to a local bar and listen to some karaoke. We grab our designated drives and off we go.

I walk in and there's some people I know, I say my hello's and do some flirting. I'm married, not dead. Apparently this is a BIG no no to people.

Someone was singing and I sat there and listened to his voice which was amazing. I'm talking and laughing to one of my other friends who just happens to be a guy *gasp*. The gal that's doing the D.J.'ing for the night INSTANTLY hates me. She gives me a dirty look. I totally ignore it, mostly because I'm naive and I think it wasn't MY fault. All I did was talk and flirt some.

The night takes a nose dive when one of our friends has a few too many and proceeds to throw up all over the bar, Uhhggg. We drag her into the bathroom and my friend takes care of her. I got her water, but then I left. I thought my friend had it under control, but apparently i was told to get help. I didn't hear that, but no big deal. As they were in the bathroom, I started talking to the guy who's on leave. We're sitting there, drinking our beer, and talking. Just talking. He's a youngin, if I were to have an affair *which I won't* it's not going to be with some 20 something young buck who is in the Navy no less! We play some pool and have a great time. He drives me home and that's it. I didn't do anything wrong, I wasn't being sneaky. I told Husband all about it, it's totally cool.

Then..I find out yesterday that the gal who was doing the music last night called one of MY friends and tattled on me! Seriously?! You tattled on me? The gal she called is one of her friends as well, but STILL! That put phone friend in a position to defend me. Although I totally appreciate that she did, but it wasn't needed! I didn't do a damn thing wrong!

I'm pissed off. This isn't the first time I was disliked for something I did or how I acted, but this is the first time when it was taken this far. I know I can't do anything about it because there's nothing to do. I will not lower myself to her level and confront her. I will not bitch to my friends about it, nor will I spread rumors.

When I am not at home or with my family, I am a completely different person. I have friends who know a lot about me, I have friends who know some about me and I have friends who know nothing about me except I like dirty martinis with vodka and 3 olives. It takes me awhile to allow people into my life. I don't bring just anyone around my family. I keep these lives separated and I am OK with it. Most importantly MY family is OK with it.

So, when some grown woman decides to get into my business, it pisses me off! It is OK for a married woman to have friends that have a penis. I swear it is, right? I will admit that I am a flirt and my friends and I have contest on who can get more free drinks bought for us, but I never lie and say I am not married. I don't ever lead anyone on. I wear my wedding ring and I am always upfront about my marriage. I like to have fun with my friends, with or without a vagina. Husband doesn't have a problem with me being a flirt. He is secure in our marriage, as am I. He and I both know that just because some guy buys me a drink, doesn't mean I'm going to cut and run. Same goes with if some chick bought him a drink or if he bought some chick a drink. We are not jealous people and it's all good.

So why is it necessary for this "woman" to be a bitch and tattle on me? I know she probably has nothing else to do and disapproved of my behavior because I was talking to a man and laughing *oh the horror* and this man was not my husband. So, that automatically makes me a whore.

I can't say that I wasn't totally petty about it when I saw her the other day. I killed her with kindness. I do it all the time. I know when I am disliked and instead of being a bitch about it, which is what I REALLY want to do, I kill em with kindness. I was very polite to her and smiled as sweetly as I possibly could and told her I hoped to see her again. I learned that from my dad. He does it all the time and it cracks me up every single time.

Even though this "woman" deems is necessary to get involved in MY business when she doesn't even know anything about me..I am still going to that bar. I might even do it more often, just to piss her off. Why? Because I have an evil, snobby, bitchy streak and I love to let her out once and awhile.

A few years ago, this would have been a huge deal for me. It would have caused me to try to "fix' the problem or wonder why she doesn't like me, or wonder if I am doing something wrong. Now...no way! I am totally cool with someone who doesn't like me for whatever reason. If they don't want to take to time to get to know me before passing judgment on me, then I can do without them in my life. Ahhh the joys of being in my 30's. I LOVE IT!!!!

3 friends have commented:

Jaymee on September 4, 2008 at 2:04 PM said...

You seriously need to stop living my husbands life. He was out with some of his friends, who all happen to be females, the other night. I get a call from an acquaintance of mine telling me that my husband is having an affair. Since he was out with 4 women, I say good for him. People just do not understand what it means to be in a good relationship.

Mischief Maker on September 5, 2008 at 11:10 AM said...

Love the banner at the top of your post. The power of a pissed off woman, indeed! I definitely have to be terribly terribly pissed before I assert myself. I am trying to learn to be assertive without becoming the stereotypical "bitch" but it seems almost impossible to be one without being perceived as the other. Damn.

Oh, and sorry that someone is being dumb.

Kristin on September 5, 2008 at 3:07 PM said...

People like that piss me off. I've found its their own attitudes and behaviors that make them suspect other people. Sorry you had to deal with this.

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