Sep 28, 2008

WOW!!!!!

Musings of A Beautiful Mess
I mentioned in my "meme" that I was anorexic in high school and I still battle this issue of mine. It's not something I struggle with every day, but it does come up every once in awhile. I, thankfully didn't have to go to counseling to "cure" myself of this. I didn't have it to the extent that I wouldn't eat for weeks on end or be hospitalized from lack of nutrition. There were many times that I would pass out from lack of eating, but thankfully my parents helped me and we all got through it together. I am very open about this topic with everyone. Especially with my daughter. Her and I are always talking about body images and what is possible to change and what isn't. How to treat your body well and what to put in it and what not to put in it.

When I got pregnant with my daughter I realized that being healthy for her and having a healthy baby and pregnancy was more important then weighing the "magic number". So I started to be and eat healthier. I stopped going days without eating because I thought I was fat. I decided that eating was a fantastic thing. Ahhhh food is good!

There have been times when I have to actually fight the urge to do something unhealthy that relates to my eating habits. On the whole it hasn't been a problem. I haven't passed out from not eating in YEARS. I eat when I'm hungry and I do my best to eat healthy and not just eat crap.

When I was depressed in December and in January, I ate nothing but cookies for a few weeks and gained some weight. I refereed to this new weight as my "depression muffin top". I wasn't really bothered by it, but I didn't love it. I didn't go overboard and stop eating or anything. I just stopped eating cookies and started being more active. I never weighed myself, so I can't be sure exactly how much I weigh. I hate scales. They are evil and I will never own one.

In July when I got sick, I had to eat with the anti-biotics they gave me. And since I couldn't move and was stuck in bed for about 2 weeks, I gained more weight. I would guess that I gained at least 10 pounds in July. Added to the "depression muffin top", well I had a bit of a belly. Oh and I was also bloated and swollen and didn't look so fabulous. Blah. After I got sick, I had to ease myself back into exercising. I couldn't just start jogging again. I had to retrain my body to be active.

Once I got all better and got my body back on track, I started losing weight. I noticed it when I went to go out with a friend and I tried on my "skinny" jeans. And they FIT! I didn't need a crane to put them on w00t w00t!!! I was all excited. Then a few weeks ago those jeans started to get big on me. I finally told Husband I needed a new pair of jeans because none of my jeans fit me. *I didn't really tell anyone of my weight loss because then everybody would be watching every move I made and questioned everything I ate or didn't eat. * We went to Old Navy Saturday and I grabbed a pair of jeans in my size and I held them up and there is no way they would have fit. So I grabbed the next size down, which was a single digit! I haven't been in single digits in 6 years. That size was too big when I tried them on. So I had to go down one more size and I tried those on and HOLY CRAP they fit!

I haven't tried on any other jeans, yet. So if Old Navy runs big, I don't want to hear it. Feel free to lie to me. I've bought jeans there before and I they were the correct size, so unless they changed their sizing..I am about 2 sizes smaller then I was before. I am a pretty happy camper right now...

3 friends have commented:

Aunt Becky on September 29, 2008 at 10:06 AM said...

Congrats on the skinny jeans and overcoming your anorexia. Both are huge and amazing feats, my friend.

Kristin on September 30, 2008 at 9:50 AM said...

Ditto to what Aunt Becky said. Those are two things to be very proud of.

sassy said...

Wow, it's amazing that you've been able to overcome anorexia.

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