Sep 26, 2008

Happy Anniversary, my love

Musings of A Beautiful Mess

No that Love. I'm talking about the other love of my life. My bestest best friend.

We met 11 years ago. I was moving into an apartment complex and she had already been living there. Husband and I were at the old place loading up the last of the truck. My parents were at the new place watching Nae and moving stuff out of the way. (My mom was unpacking and organizing, while my dad played with Nae and had a few beers. My mom was always the one doing the organizing when someone moved, dad was always the one having a beer or 2, entertaining the little ones. Unless it was them moving, then my dad did everything, while my mom told him how to do it. Lots of sighs and deep breaths, for both of them. *I LOVE my parents*)

When we were at the old place, Rose came over to my parents and introduced herself to them, they got to talking. They mentioned that they had a daughter her age and we should meet. YAY for my parents hooking us up! We got there and her and I "clicked" instantly. We chatted about this and that. Our husbands grunted to each other. Nae was 5 months old, her oldest was 2 and her youngest *at the time* was 2 months. Her and I stood outside talking while the guys unloaded the truck. *still in trouble for that one*

From that day on, we have been inseparable. We spent hours gossiping, laughing, ranting, crying, bitching, dreaming and anything else you could imagine. Neither of us worked, so we had lots of time to do nothing. We'd have "codes" for each other. If our blinds were closed, that meant that we were either sleeping or not wanting company. We'd leave notes on the door telling neighbors not to knock because one of us had a sick child or one of us were sick. Of course these notes always included a footnote of "BFF you're welcome". Nothing was off topic when it came to discussions. We talked about everything. From the first time we kissed a boy to "would you ever kiss a girl?!" I'd never had many female friends when I was in school. I had a few close friends, but most of my friends were boys. Girls don't like me. Always been that way and I'm sure it will always be that way *sigh*

When she was moving to another town, we cried for weeks! The town wasn't even that far away! Silly girls. The day she was moving, I woke up, opened up the blinds and what did I see? I saw my window plastered with cut outs from the Victoria's Secret catalogs we'd pour over and dream of what we would buy. My window was covered in pictures of women in panties, in bathing suites, gorgeous shoes, beautiful bras, and cute jammies. I bawled like a baby. I grabbed my camera and took pictures of the window. Our neighbors were looking at me like I was crazy. I was standing outside, crying and taking pictures of my window covered in cut outs. I walked over to her apartment and we hugged and cried like she was moving the the other side of the world.

My life didn't end when she moved, nor did hers *weird*. We still saw each other, still talked on the phone. We'd mail each other "best friend" key chains in the mail. We laughed because the post office had to think we were nuts, which we kind of are.

When the opportunity came up for us to manage a homeless shelter in town, Husband and I jumped at the chance to do it. We knew our lives wouldn't be ours anymore, but we felt it was the right thing to do. During this time I was just getting over having Pelvic Inflammatory Disease *PID* and just starting my 2 year long fight with everything it entailed. She had gotten pregnant with her 3rd child. We wished that we could be pregnant together, because then we'd have something else in common. Then I got pregnant for the second time and it didn't work out. I remember her coming over to the house to visit me with her huge belly. I was so devastated to see her big belly when mine was empty and I didn't want it to be. She walked up to me, gave me some flowers and told me something I will never forget and something I have never told anyone. She said to me "I feel ashamed that I have this huge belly and you just went through a miscarriage. I am so sorry. I love you and if you want me to leave I will." I hugged her and we cried and I told her never to be ashamed. I don't exactly remember what I said, but I will never forget what she said to me that day. I will never forget what she was wearing, nor what the flowers were that she gave me that day. She can be selfish at times, but I will always remember that moment in our friendship and I can't see her not in my life.

Here we are 11 years later, after that fateful day my parents hooked us up and we have been through so much. She's been there with me when I went through my 2 miscarriages. When I played if off like it was "no big deal"*lie* She was there with me when I went through years of fighting with my PID, bladder infections and my uterus falling apart. She was with me when I found out I was pregnant with Zilla. She brought me ice cream every single time she came to see me. She was with me when I went into labor with him. She was with me when I was planning Nae's birthday parties. She was there when we attempted to make a cake for Nae's birthday and forgot to put the sugar in the cake because we had 2 glasses of wine and were buzzed *oops*. Most importantly she was there for me when my mom died. I was there for her when her and her husband got a divorce. I was there with her when she fell in love for the first time in her life with a man who lived in a different state. I supported her decision to move in with him. I understood her reasons for leaving her children with her ex husband. I listened to every one judge her and say horrible things about her. I defended my best friend because I know her. I am the only one whom she can tell her deepest darkest secrets to and I will still love the hell out of the bitch!

The day before she left, I made a scrapbook for her and covered our front window with cut outs from our Victoria's Secret catalogs. She walked in the door and cried and fell into my lap. I gave her the scrapbook and we laughed, cried and told each other how much we'd miss the other. I may not agree with every one of her decisions, but I am here to support her and she is here for me. She would never judge me or my choices. She might not like what I'm doing and she will tell me, but she will always love me. I am the only one who can tell her to pull her head out of her ass and look at her situation. I can give her advice and she will listen to me. She will tell me I am right, if I am, and I will do the same. I can get away with a lot when it comes to her. I am the only one who can wish her a happy birthday and not get something throw at my head. I've seen her cry more times then anyone else. She's crawled into my lap to cry over something but will deny it till the day she dies. She treats me like the spoiled brat I am. Her and Husband are the only 2 who call me "Princess" and know exactly what it means.

I can't think of my life without her in it, nor do I want to. Since she's moved, it's been strange. We talk just as much, but our conversations are deeper. We still talk about our obsession with shoes *her* and purses *me*, but mostly now, they revolve around life changing choices. We have grown up and it's OK. We still have our "lets go out and act like fools" moments, but on the whole we talk about when she's going to get married and what will her dress look like. And why is her boyfriend such a stubborn ass?! My answer every time is "sweetie, they are all stubborn asses, but he is your stubborn ass and you are madly, deeply in love with the man" Her response to this is "shit, you're right. I do love him, especially because he is a stubborn ass".

I love this woman more then I can ever say. She is truly my other soul mate. She knows things about me that nobody else knows. We have so many inside jokes. When her and I get together, nobody else is in the room. We have our own language. We can finish each other's sentences. We have the dumbest contests with each other. We've made bets on who can get the most lighters at the end of a night of bar hopping. *I won this one* We've made bets on who can get the most drinks bought for our table or for herself *she always wins this one, bitch* I could go on and on and on, but I won't. She will never read this, but she knows how much I love her and I guess I just needed others to know how amazing MY best friend is!

8 friends have commented:

Anonymous said...

That reminds me so much of my relationship with GingerMagnolia (we're IRL BFFs). With everything that's going on now, it's her opinion that I worry about most. I'm so glad I have her. My boss, Brian, said our friendship was "meant to be" when I told him about her. It sounds like yours is too.

Mischief Maker on September 27, 2008 at 10:48 AM said...

Hey! I'm a woman and I like ya! :) What a sweet tribute to your dear friend.

Also, you must hear about my date last night.

Stephanie, Phil, Kayla, Logan & Alex on September 28, 2008 at 1:46 PM said...

I have a BFF like that too. That's the best thing in the world to have.


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

that's so great you have such a wonderful best friend to depend on! i think true best friends are like soul mates, there's one out there for everyone...and everyone finds their "better halves" at different times in life. i'm still holdin' out for mine, but i know there's someone that will just get me and visa versa.

thanks for stopping by my blog earlier!

Mama Bear on September 28, 2008 at 9:34 PM said...

your lucky to have a bff-- I have had mine for about 23 years - it is a strong bond isn't it?

nancy on September 28, 2008 at 10:04 PM said...

That's beautiful. I have a best friend just like this too. We live states away now, but you know, when it matters, we are there within a moment's notice.


Kristin on September 30, 2008 at 9:53 AM said...

Isn't it wonderful to have friends like that? I have two people who fit that category for me (besides hubby) sisters by choice Jennifer (24 years) and Christa (8 years)

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