After my mom died, there were a few songs that I could NOT and would NOT listen to. Sometimes I would get the courage up to listen to the song or watch the video, but as soon as I'd start welling up, I'd either walk out of the room or turn off the song. These songs were my enemy. I know it's dumb and dosn't make ANY sense, but I really hated these songs. As well as a few shows that I use to watch. I've come around quite a bit, as of late. When I loaded some new songs onto my ipod, I put a few of them on there. WOOO, go me! I'm getting to be such a big girl ;0)
The first one was 2AM, by Anna Nalick. Every time I heard this song, I would bawl. Not listen tears, either. I'd try to hold back the tears and try to make it until the end of the song, I failed every single time. I'd choke on my tears and hiccup, the cry so was forceful. I'd get all pissed off and turn off the song, wipe away the tears and move on. Totally unhealthy, I know, but it's what I did. Now I can listen to the song AND watch the video and not cry at all. Which is nice, because the song is a really great song. Plus she has an amazing voice. Beautiful Mess: 1 Grief: eleventy billion.
The next song is by Joe Purdy Can't Get It Right Today. It was on an episode of Grey's Anatomy and a car commercial last year. The first time I heard this song, I thought "OMG this is PERFECT for me! I must have this song". PFFFTTTT what! ever! Husband found the song for me and then one day I really listened to it and the tears were flowing down my cheeks. I felt like giving up and I could get anything right, just like he says in the song. The tune of the song, makes me think it'll be a light hearted song, which is why I liked it in the first place. THEN I listened to the words and realized it was a sad song! Really Joe?! Is it necessary for you to trick me into liking this song, only to hate it because it makes me cry? That's not a very funny joke, just so you know. Now, however, I really like the song and can listen to it without even tearing up. SWEET! Beautiful Mess: 2 Grief: eleventy billion. I'm catching up...
Nickelback! I love them! I love their music, plus Chad is just a wee bit yummy!*waves* Hi Chad! It wasn't the song that made me cry, it was the VIDEO! A young couple is laying in their bed and he gets a call to go fight a fire and she thinks he dies in the fire. But at the end of the video he comes back and they embrace and are SO happy that he's alive, blah, blah, blah. Insert cry fest here. It has a sweet ending, that's GREAT, but I didn't get a sweet ending, so I totally hated the song. Now, I can listen to the song AND watch the video and I don't get that lump in my throat. Beautiful Mess: 3 Grief: eleventy billion. I'll catch up soon.
Jay-Z...ahhh how I do love Jay-Z! I was really excited for his new album to come out a few years ago after his retirement. I listened to the album non-stop, except track number 8. I always skipped that song. He's rapping (?) singing (?) about his mom. How he "made it" because of his mom. He totally gives props to his mom. The first time I listened to it, I couldn't even finish it. As soon as I heard "mom", off the song went and on to the next track. Now I can listen to the song and feel pride at how my mom would feel to know how I've made it. Beautiful Mess: 4 Grief: elventy billion
*I couldn't find the video for this song so you get the lyric widget*
Lyrics | Jay-Z Lyrics | I Made It Lyrics
There is still one song I can't listen to, though. I can listen to it, but not without crying. I just tried to listen to it, but started to get that lump and then I hit pause. Hey Jude by The Beatles. My mom's name is Judy and we always said it was her song. The song isn't about a woman, actually a man, but we would call me mom "Jude" sometimes. So this song, is still on my "no, no" list. I don't know when, if ever I will be able to listen to it. Maybe someday, but that day is not today. Beautiful Mess: 4 Grief: eleventy billion and ONE....bitch